Page 2 of Absolved In Death

“My name is Quelier—aka Fae Personal Assistant Extraordinaire—and I’ll be guiding you through your arrival to Pit 13. Please keep all limbs inside the passenger car and hold onto your safety bar.”

All of us immediately found ourselves trapped in rollercoaster cars that popped out of thin air. The safety bar dropped into our laps, forcing us into place. Mine wouldn’t budge, no matter how much magic I used to pry it up.

The sun set, and a disembodied spotlight shone on the mischievous Fae PA. He now donned a top hat and wore fancy white gloves from a bygone era. A time where men had a real sense for fashion.

“Get ready for the welcome of your life!” His voice magnified, as if he was using a microphone.

Everyone fell silent, glancing at each other as if someone knew what was going on.

Does anyone know what’s bloody happening?Bash groused.

No, and I can’t get myself out of this seat,Mal replied as he tried to pry the safety bar away.

Diana, buckle up, pun intended. This is going to be a fucked up ride,Oisín said, a hint of worry in his voice that put me on edge. I wouldn’t say my brother was a complete psychopath, but he didn’t worry. That emotion wasn’t in his repertoire, so for him to sound this unsettled wasn’t good.

The Prince of Darkness just grumbled, rolled his eyes, and sat still, staring down Quelier like he was a nuisance. Random show tune piano music accompanied by some wind instruments swelled, then Quelier burst into song and a choreographed dance.

The car took off following an invisible track. It felt as if we were moving, but we weren’t. The scenery stayed the same as the wind blew through my hair.

“Welcome one, welcome all! Pit 13 is such a ball. Where the worst are sent to suffer. They’re all screaming for their mothers!”he sang with gusto, kicking up dust as he danced around.

I was impressed by his expressive dance moves, despite how he trapped me in this stupid seat. He knew how to pull off some mean jazz hands. As the music progressed, others filtered out of the wooden buildings’ open doors. As they came closer, I realized they were all carbon copies of Quelier in different costumes—a rough and tumble cowboy, a saloon woman, a modern day construction worker, a person in blood-splattered scrubs. One of his copies was even dressed as a flight attendant, complete with a fancy chignon bun and kitten heels. They all joined in on what I assumed would be the song’s chorus.

“Pit 13, your personal nightmare! Pit 13, once you arrive you’re stuck here! Your personal Hell will surely be swell. Don’t worry about your life, it’s all torture and strife. We can’t wait to make you scream, you’re gonnalovePit 13.”

Suddenly, the entire scenery around us changed to the first class section of a plane. We all sat in groups of two, surrounded by more Quelier carbon copies dressed as various passengers. The level of detail on some of the copies was impressive. One had a laptop with an open document. Another scrolled through their phone next to one who was fast asleep. There was even a copy of him hyperventilating into a paper bag.

I guess that one doesn’t like flying on planes…

The music picked up, changing to a disco-like beat. A disco ball dropped from the ceiling, making a little strawberry blond haired baby cry a few rows behind us.

Everyone on the plane except us jumped out of their seats, bouncing around and singing as the original Quelier danced down the aisle.

I am so lost…Mal linked me.

This is entertaining as fuck,Judas said as he danced in his seat.

It’s a long story and as soon as this is over I’ll explain,Zaz promised. He sat in the aisle seat next to me. His fingers ran through his long, curly hair, his tell that he felt stressed.

Everyone around us sat down as the oxygen masks dropped from the little overhead compartments, then fixed their masks to their face. As one, they all started beatboxing. Mixed with the sound of the oxygen flowing and random percussion music, it was a unique beat. Quelier strutted down the aisle as he rap-talked over the beat.

“Good afternoon ladies, gents, and everyone in between. It’s my pleasure to welcome you to Pit 13, where our objective is to torture you and make your eternity a living, unbearable Hell. My name is Quelier, aka Fae Personal Assistant Extraordinaire, for those of you who may have missed it due to my spectacular musical performance.” A large burst of fireworks went off behind him as his clones wiggled the most impressive spirit fingers. “I’ll curate your torture experience during your stay, but the magic of the pit is responsible for sourcing your trauma to fuel said experiences. Place your carry-on items wherever you want and do whatever you want as we descend into the pit. Take a moment to review the lack of safety instructions, because you’re stuck here forever! Whether you get hurt or not.”

The plane shook through some turbulence, but he never wavered. Two other flight attendant versions of him flanked him on either side of the wide aisle, dancing behind him as he rap-outlined the terms of our stay.

“There’s no escaping Pit 13—you’re here because you were naughty, awful people too bad for Hell proper, and here is where you’ll stay,forever. Your worst fears and biggest pet peeves will come to life. Please use the touch screen in front of you to fill out a quick questionnaire so I can make your stay as uncomfortable as possible. I’ll know if you’re lying, so answer all questions honestly.”

I looked at the questions, and realized long forms were one of my biggest pet peeves.Seriously, they are so annoying.The torture was already beginning, and we hadn’t even landed yet. I glanced at my dads, and Lucifer looked so bothered that steam was billowing from his ears again. Michael was almost as angry, but at least he had some composure as he served our lunatic-tyrant-jailor some serious side-eye. Despite the randomness of everything going on, I could tell this whole thing was probably happening because of something fucked up Lucifer had done.

Every single fucked up thing probably happened because of Lucifer Morningstar.

The Prince of Darkness jumped up from his seat, seething with rage. “STOP THIS NONSENSE!”

The music cut, and everyone quieted. All of the Quelier carbon copies laser-focused on him, expressions of pure fury on their faces.

The one dressed as a female flight attendant strutted right up to him, slapping him across the face. “No,youstop! You ruined our welcoming number, right before my solo,” she wailed in a scandalized tone. She pinned him with an outraged glare. “It took usdecadesto come up with that, while you were off doing whatever you deemed more important than coming back to visit me.”

“What? Of course I came back to visit you…you must have missed me, though,” Lucifer bold-face lied, his cheeks turning red.

---