Page 129 of Voices

Damn, that’s ripe.

Charlie, of course, doesn’t move. Stepping back over to him, I peel his boxer briefs off then bend down to pick him up and bring him to the bathroom. His eyes open into slits when I lower him into the tub. I place a rolled-up towel under his neck andthen guide him to lean back. He settles quickly, closing his eyes and letting out a ragged breath.

I let him soak for a few minutes as I looked him over. The bruises on his torso are still purple in the middle but they are starting to get that sickly yellow hue on the outside. I checked his back earlier and was pleased to see the cuts healing nicely. The fingerprints that were on his throat are mostly gone and his eye is less puffy. The cut on his eyebrow is almost healed and the one along his hairline is still red but healing.

While he relaxes and soaks, I get to work washing from his feet to his hair. He doesn’t open his eyes the entire time.

I get Charlie out, wrap a towel around him, and carry him back to my bed. After helping him into a clean pair of boxer briefs, I sit behind him and comb out the knots in his hair. He sways a few times but otherwise sits hunched over.

I swap the comb for the water bottle when his hair is free of knots and watch as he takes a few sips. When he’s finished, I shift around so I’m next to him. He leans into my side, so I wrap my arm around him.

“I don’t know what’s going on in that beautiful head but always remember that I love you. Nothing you say or do will ever change that.”

I kiss the top of his wet head, feeling him become heavier against my side. I lean him back a little on my arm and see that he’s asleep. I kiss his rough lips and slide off the bed, moving him so his head is on the pillow. I cover him with my throw blanket since it’s the only one to survive the stink and kiss his warm, soft cheek.

Ryder walks in with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a sleeve of crackers. He sets it next to Charlie and then taps his wrist. I nod to him before he steps back out.

I fight with myself to move. My mind knows I only have a few minutes before I have to leave but my feet won’t move from theirspot next to my bed. I’ve been able to stay within twenty minutes of him all week thanks to everyone working together to always have someone here. But now I’ll be over two hours away and I don’t like the pit in my stomach from knowing I can’t be here if he needs me. I know Lily will take care of anything he’ll need, but it still hurts having to leave him for so long.

Someone clears their throat by the door. I glance over and see Lily standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.

Letting out a slow breath, I take one last look at my sleeping boy. He looks so peaceful. I give him one last kiss and force myself to leave my room.

“I told you this was going to happen.”

I stop and turn to face her. “I don’t know what you want me to do. I’ve been trying to get him to eat and drink every fucking day.” I take a few steps back to keep the distance between us. “But I refuse to shove food and water down his throat if he won’t eat. Something tells me that’ll do more harm than good.” I bend down and pick up my hockey bag, slinging it over my shoulder. “If he doesn’t have the energy to eat, how the hell do you expect him to be able to walk? And yes, I’ve been trying. He makes it to the bathroom but can’t make it back. What do you expect me to do? Just let him lie on the floor? Over myfuckingdead body.”

Ryder meets me at the door with his hockey bag.

Looking back at Lily I can see remorse slowly taking over.

“I didn’t want him falling into another depressive episode. I know once the depression sets in, it’s hard to get him out of it. I thought you’d be able to help him this time.” She looks down at her feet. “Sorry if I came off as a bitch. He’s my best friend and I can’t lose him.” She looks back up at us with watery eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Ryder drops his bag and walks over to her, wrapping her in his arms. He whispers something to her, but I’ve already turned around, walking out the door. I can see where she’s comingfrom, but she didn’t have to make me feel like shit all week when I was trying my hardest to help Charlie. I’ll forgive her, just not right now.

Ryder catches up as I’m waiting for the elevator. “I’ll talk to her. She’s a good person. She just went about this the wrong way.”

I nod stepping into the elevator. He follows and knows me enough to know I need a minute. We walk out of the building and head to my truck where Ash and Matt are already waiting for us.

“How are we feeling today? Any changes,” Matt asks as we climb in.

“Shane gave him a much needed bath while I switched out the sheets,” Ryder says from next to me.

Not wanting to discuss this anymore, I turn on my favorite early two-thousands rock radio station. Turning it up whenThe Diary of Janeby Breaking Benjamin comes on. I let the bass drown out any more conversation.

Everything is a blur as we check our gear and load the bus. I sit in my usual spot in the back, between the window and…Asher?

I left my brow in question. He types on his phone since it’s in his hands.

‘You looked like you needed to be alone. I figured I was a better choice than Ryder since he’s been talking nonstop. He can talk Matt’s ear off instead of yours.’

I hadn’t even noticed. I glance past Ash and see Matt shooting daggers at the side of Asher’s head. I look back at Asher and I can tell he knows what Matt is doing. He shrugs then types again.

‘Do you want to talk about it? It’ll be better to get it off your chest now than risk it messing up your playing later.’

I shake my head. “Thanks, but I need to just not think for a while. I’ll let you know if I need to talk.”

Nodding he puts his earbuds in and leans back, closing his eyes.

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