Page 134 of Voices

“I promise to help you through this in any way I can,” I whisper into his messy hair.

He cries himself to sleep almost twenty minutes later but I still hold him against me.

I fall asleep hugging my sweet, beautiful boy, begging to a higher being to help me bring Charlie back.

Something cold and wet glides over my left forearm. I blindly rub my hand over it but don’t feel anything. I start to fall back to sleep when it happens again.

The fuck?

My eyelids struggle to open and when I finally get one to open, I find a sheepish Charlie lying next to me holding a green marker. He looks away capping the marker.

“No,” my voice rough from sleep. “It’s ok. Please keep going. Color my whole body if you want. Just…don’t stop.”

He looks up from under his thick black eyelashes and nods tentatively. Uncapping the marker, he goes back to coloring in my tattoos.

I watch him for a while, memorizing how at peace he looks at this moment.

Please don’t let this be a false spark of hope. I can’t watch him hurt anymore.

I wake up some time later to light streaming in from my curtains. Curtains that haven’t been opened in almost a week. Isnap up to a sitting position and look around my bright room. Charlie isn’t next to me, but his art stuff is spread out in neat piles on the nightstand, his sketchbook and pencil in the middle.

I climb out of bed to look for him but when I get halfway to the door, I hear my shower going. The door is cracked open, so I quietly slip inside. The bathroom is warm and foggy, a layer of condensation on the glass door hiding his body from me in the shower. Stepping up to it, I’m confused when I still don’t see him.I open the door and my heart sinks when I find him sitting on the floor directly under the stream, crying. I move the shower head and crouch down in front of him. He looks up at me, his hair sticking to his face, his bottom lip trembling.

“Come here, baby.” I open my arms and sigh when he leans into me.

“I-I,” he struggles to say anything else.

Picking him up, his legs wrap around my waist. I change the setting of the shower head to rainfall and angle the water to his back, letting the soothing water relax his body. I alternate between rubbing his back and hugging him to me. His lips brush my neck and a soft ‘done’ reaches my ears a few minutes later. Turning the water off, I step out of the shower and drape a towel over him. I start walking back to my room but stop when water runs down my legs. I glance down and see that I’m still in my boxer briefs. I huff at myself as I try to get the wet, clingy fabric down my legs.

Charlie must get tired of me jostling him around because he lifts his head and then drops his legs. I quickly pull the soaking wet boxers off, toss them into the shower, and grab my own towel to dry off with. Charlie’s tired eyes catch mine before turning and slowly walking back into my room. I wrap the towel around my waist and follow after him.

He’s slipping into a pair of my red and black checkered pajama pants, rolling the waistband over and over to keep themup on his slim hips. He then pulls on the hoodie I wore yesterday that I tossed on my dresser. Grabbing his sketchbook and a pencil, he climbs onto my bed and flips it open. As he starts drawing, I get dressed following his lead putting on pajama pants and a hoodie. I sit down next to him and kiss his shoulder. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye but quickly looks away and continues drawing.

Reaching for my phone, I send a group text to the guys letting them know Charlie is up and moving around. After they respond I switch over to my sisters and send the same message, getting way too many heart emojis from them both.

Noticing that it’s almost noon, I turn so I’m facing Charlie, my knees bumping the side of his leg. “Are you hungry? I’ll make you whatever you want.”

His pencil stops as he bites his lip. He chews on it until I gently pull it free. Turning his face to me, I can see fear and uncertainty.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I rub my thumb over his fading black eye.

“Can I finish this first? I-I’ll eat after,” he says softly.

“Of course.”

I watch him for a little while, amazed at how quickly he can draw.

After a few minutes, he stops and he swallows hard before looking up at me. “I-I’m sorry. I tried to keep the voices away, but they became so loud…” He lets the sentence fade as a shiver runs through him.

I wrap my arm around him and pull him to my side, kissing his temple. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I told you I’d always be by your side no matter what you’re going through. I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes glisten for a second before he blinks it away. He closes his book and stands, setting it back in its place next to his pencil case.

I walk around the bed and reach for his hand, relieved when he lets me lace my fingers through his. We walk through the living room to the kitchen, finding Ryder’s ass sticking out of the fridge.

“What the hell are you doing.”

He jumps and hits his head on the shelf. Rubbing the back of his head he turns, getting ready to curse me out but stops as a huge grin takes over his face.

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