Page 136 of Voices

“Sure,” I say softly as I pull out my supplies and wait for the professor to start her lesson.

Halfway through class, my phone vibrates with a text message.

Blue: Hey Beautiful. How’s your day going?

Me: Kinda boring since all my classes are getting ready for finals.

Blue: Same. But that just means we’re one more day closer to winter break!

I swallow hard. I have no idea what I’m doing for those two weeks. I’m not going back to that hell hole even though Benji and our parents will be celebrating Christmas in Barbados like they do every year. I usually spend time with Gloria and the rest of the housekeepers, but I don’t think I can go back so soon after what happened the last time I was there.

Blue: What are your plans for lunch?

Me: Cafeteria with Lily and Noah

Blue: I have a surprise for you!

Me: What is it?

Blue: If I tell you then it wouldn’t be much of a surprise, now would it?

Me: You know I don’t like surprises.

Me: Shane?

Me: I don’t think I like you very much right now.

Blue: I don’t believe that for one second. I’ll see you later beautiful

I blow out a slow breath as I put my phone back in my pocket. I don’t know what he sees in me or why he’s still here after all I’ve put him through. I’m the biggest basket case in this school.

“Earth to Jax,” Lily waves her hand in front of my face.

“Huh?” We’re sitting in the back of the cafeteria. I’m facing the back wall with my hood up attempting to keep the stares off my face with Noah next to me and Lily across from us.

Lily huffs a short laugh. “I asked what your plans are after your last final next week. It’s Tuesday, right? My plane doesn’t leave until Thursday morning so I was thinking we could getsome food then maybe you pack a bag and come with me while we celebrate Christmas in Dubai this year.” Her bright cerulean eyes plead for me to go with her.

It would be easy to say yes if her older brother and dad didn’t scare me. They’re twice as big as Shane and never smile. Her dad likes to talk politics and always has to have the last word, not that I’d ever openly disagree with him. And her brother is a huge NFL player who enjoys using his size to intimidate me.

“I’ll think about it.”

She’s about to say something else when someone calls her name. Her bright smile erases any trace of our conversation as she stands up and hugs a few girls who walk up to our table. I duck my head, hiding my face as they talk excitedly about their Christmas getaways.

Noah leans over and whispers in my ear. “You’re only making things worse by not going with her.”

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye.

“While you were depressed and shit, she’s done nothing but worry about your sorry ass. I told her to let you be so you could figure your shit out but of course, she didn’t listen.” He clenches his jaw, his hazel eyes turning dark. “You might not care about your life, but she does and I’m tired of hearing her talk aboutyou. Be a fucking normal friend or let her go. She doesn’t deserve to be dragged down by your pathetic ass.”

He abruptly stands and walks over to Lily, and I watch as he whispers something in her ear making her laugh before they all walk away, leaving me sitting here alone.

He's right. I don’t deserve someone like Lily. She cares too much and has too big of a heart. I hate it when she chooses to stay with me instead of going out and having fun with her real friends. She’s too much of an extrovert to stay inside, away from the world. She’s the life and soul of the party and I’m just dragging her down.

I refuse to dull Lily’s light any more than I already have. I need to start pushing her away.

As that heavy thought settles in my heart, warm hands cover my eyes. My heart jumps into my throat but before I have a chance to panic, Shane’s deep voice reaches my ears.

“Why is someone as beautiful as you sitting all the way back here?”

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