Page 142 of Voices

“When I went back to school the next day, my teacher was gone. Nobody knew what happened to him, the principal said that he had to move back home to Arizona. I didn’t know then that he was the first person to disappear at the hands of my father. I later found out that my father threatened him with false claims that he had proof that he was hurting me and told him to leave and never speak to me again. All because he was trying to help me. Sometimes, though, I wonder if he played a part in why the friend who helped me learn to read eventually faded from my life.”

“That’s so fucked up.” Shane shakes his head. “Why wouldn’t he want you to get the help you needed? That doesn’t make any sense.”

I chew on my bottom lip so hard that a metallic taste coats my tongue.

Reaching for my lip, Shane pulls it free and wipes away the blood. “Don’t do that, you’ll chew your lip off.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, baby.” He moves my hair that’s fallen in my eyes. He drops his hand and becomes serious. “Is he the one that beat you a few weeks ago?” He asks with a calmness that’s a little unnerving.

I drop my head and stare at my lap as I nod once.

You’re such a fucking moron!

How could you tell him all of that?!

He’s going to think you’re pathetic!

What kind of man lets their father beat the shit out of them?

You’re. A. Fucking. Coward!

I hold the sides of my head and squeeze. I squeeze until the pressure becomes too much. Then I grip my hair and pull.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

“Charlie, you’re okay. I’m right here.”

No! No! No! What did I do?!

I feel his hands on my hips before I’m pulled onto his lap. I straddle his legs as his strong arms wrap around me.

“I’ve got you.”

He gently pulls my fingers out of my hair and places my arms around his neck. I grab onto him as tight as I can, afraid he’s going to realize what a pathetic excuse of a man I am.

“Please don’t leave me,” I cry into his neck.

His arms tighten around me. “I told you I’m not going anywhere, and I meant it. What you’ve gone through is beyond fucked and I can’t promise not to give your father a piece of my mind the next time I see him. But I’ll never leave you, baby.”

I freeze at his words. He can’t say anything to him!

I pull back quickly and look into his eyes. “You can’t tell him anything I just said, Shane. He has more power than you think. He’ll pull you to the side under the guise of wanting to ‘chat with the captain,’ but then I’ll never see you again! Please promise me you won’t talk to him. I’ll never make it if something happens to you because of me.” I feel hysterical as I plead with him.

“Shh. You’re on the verge of another panic attack and I don’t think your body can take another one.” He places my hand on his chest and mimics taking big, slow breaths. “There you go, baby. Nice and slow.”

When I have my breathing under control, he gently pushes on my back so I’m leaning against his chest again.

“I promise I won’t tell him anything. He can’t make me do anything. Plus, I’m hardly ever alone, so he won’t be able to talk to me without someone else being there too. I’ve steered clear of him for this long, a few more months will be nothing.”

A relieved breath leaves me as the last of my energy drains from me. Shane moves around and then lays down on his back with me still attached to his chest.

“I’ll protectyounow, beautiful.” He kisses the top of my head as my mind shuts off.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Shane

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