Page 151 of Voices

“I fucking love you Charlie.”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Shane

The rest of the week we show Charlie all our favorite spots, including Pandora at Disney World.

“I feel like I’m in the movie!” He smiles as he looks up at the animatronics on the boat ride through the Na’vi River Journey.

His face lights up with every new creature we come across, and even though I’ve never been on this ride, I can’t take my eyes off him. The pure joy and amazement radiating off him right now are everything I've ever wanted to give him.

“I don’t think I like this one!”

I laugh my ass off as Charlie squeals like a little kid during the Flight of Passage ride.

“I thought you said you wanted to ride one of these things,” I yell over the sound effects.

I laugh again when his huge eyes connect with mine as he furiously shakes his head. “I changed my mind. I’ll stick to watching the Avatars ride these.”

I bring him in for a hug when we get off, seeing tiny tremors going through him. “I’ve got you, baby.”

He buries his face in my neck, taking deep, slow breaths. Stepping back, he looks up into my eyes. “I’ve never been on an amusement ride, and I don’t think I’m ever going back on one.”

Chuckling, I pull him back to me and kiss the top of his head. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Holding hands, we make our way to The World of Avatar, and I watch Charlie take picture after picture of all the different plants and structures. His smile never fades. It will forever beingrained in my mind how happy he is and how my heart is doubling in the love I have for this man.

With each passing day, he relaxes more and more. My family has been great, but I think this warm, sunny weather has definitely helped in keeping his spirits up.

At night, we spend hours either lying out on lawn chairs in the backyard or in the sand, watching the stars flicker in the dark sky. I have no idea what goes on in his head, but the peacefulness that washes over him eases my mind. We stay out until he’s fallen asleep, then I carry him to my bed and fall asleep with him in my arms.

It’s New Year's Eve and we’re getting ready to host our annual party. The house is decked out in black and gold decorations, and we have heating lamps on the back porch so we can watch the fireworks at midnight. Charlie thinks it’s hilarious that most Floridians find sixty degrees to be as cold as Chicagoans find twenty degrees. He couldn’t hold back his laugh when my mom pulled out her puffy jacket and had to explain that sixty degrees to him is hoodie weather.

Typical Northerner.

As people start to arrive, he moves closer to my side. I introduce him to my parents’ colleagues, my aunts and uncles, cousins, and our neighbors.Liz comes over and introduces her new boyfriend Riley, who I’ve known for years and helped him feel comfortable in his own skin as he transitioned. He’s always had a crush and Liz so I’m happy that they are finally together.

As midnight draws near, Charlie and I find ourselves lying on a blanket in the sand.

“How do you know this many people? And how do you remember all their names?”

I laugh as I hand him his drink. “I’ve known everyone for most of my life. My parents are friendly to everyone so onceyou’re invited to a birthday party, you’re in with the Hawkins family.”

Taking a sip from his glass, he looks up at the stars. “I’ve never met my mother’s side of the family and my father’s brother was the only uncle I’ve ever known. But then he disappeared, and it was just us four and way too many of my father’s business associates that I couldn’t keep straight even if I tried.”

I lower his chin and turn his head so he’s facing me. “You have us now, baby. This may not be a birthday party, but I think Christmas proved you’re a part of our family.” I cradle his cheek as he nuzzles my palm.

He kisses it as we hear shouting from the back porch.

“Thirty seconds!”

I scoot closer so our hips are touching and wrap my arm around his waist as he looks at me.

We stare into each other’s eyes as the countdown starts.

“Ten…Nine…Eight…Seven…Six…”

“I love you, Charlie”

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