Page 170 of Voices

Nothing but the sounds of waves crashing in the distance meets my ears.

Ryder points to the path that leads to the beach. “This way,” he says before taking off running. I follow him, cursing the cold wind blowing towards us making it take longer to get to the water.

When we reach the lake, there are miles of sand going left and right. Turning on the flashlights on our phones, we go in opposite directions.

“Charlie!” I yell but it’s drowned out by the waves and wind.

My heart beats like a jackhammer as I scan every inch of sand and up on the dunes. I pan the light over the black lake and search for his milky white skin. When I don’t see anything, I’m relieved but it’s short-lived when I turn around and look up at the dunes. They stretch the length of the beach and are about eight feet high with some spots well over ten feet.

Shivering when a freezing mist that feels like needles hits the back of my neck, I pocket my phone and use the stars and moonlight to see as I climb up the sandy dune. It’s unstable as hell, my feet fighting to find traction on the little pieces of dead grass that are covered by more sand.

Finally making it to the top, I cup my frozen hands around my mouth. “Charlie!” There’s no movement on either side of me.

Pulling my phone back out, I use the flashlight to continue searching.

After ten minutes with no sign of him, I drop to my knees in exhaustion. My hoodie does absolutely nothing against the bitter cold and I’ve lost feeling in my fingertips.

Looking up at the sky twinkling with stars, an icy tear falls down my cold cheek. “Where are you, baby?”

Another cold gust of wind hits me in the back, forcing me to stand up and keep moving. I turn around and walk back the way I came, hoping I missed him before I came up here. I scan the sand down below as I force my frozen legs to keep moving.

Bringing the light back in front of me, I stop when the light bounces off something shiny up ahead. Jogging closer, I almost drop my phone when a familiar pair of black combat boots appear.

I slip on the sand as I run towards him, calling his name, but he doesn’t move as I get closer.

“CHARLIE!”

His pale skin glows under the moonlight and his hair is blowing around wildly, blocking his face.

“No, no, no. Charlie!”

Dropping to my knees next to him, I pick up his head, place it in my lap, and move his hair out of his face. His lips are blue and there are scrapes all over his face.

I gently shake him. “Charlie? Wake up, baby. I’m here. I need you to wake up for me.” His body stays limp as mine starts to shiver.

Looking around frantically, I spot Ryder down on the sand a few feet away. “Ryder!” He waves and runs towards me.

Looking back down at Charlie with tears freezing on my cheeks, I place trembling fingers over his pulse point in his neck. My heart stops when I don’t feel anything.

“No. Charlie, please. You can’t leave me,” I cry. Hugging him to me, I rock back and forth, pleading for him to come back. “You have to wake up. I love you so much, baby. Please.”

“Shane.” Ryder’s scared voice comes from above me.

Slowly lifting my head, I follow his gaze and that’s when I see the pill bottles and an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels next to Charlie’s leg. My skin breaks out in a cold sweat as I pick up one of the bottles with a trembling hand and only see four pills in it. Rotating it until the label appears, my vision swims as I read it.

It’s suddenly very hard to swallow when realization hits.

He wanted to die.

My baby was hurting so much that he didn’t want to live anymore.

I hug Charlie tighter as Ryder squats down on the opposite side of him. “Let me check,” he gently but firmly pushes me back far enough to reach Charlie’s neck.

“I-It’s not there. I couldn’t find his p-pulse, Ry,” I cry harder.

He places two fingers along Charlie’s neck as it starts snowing. I watch as snowflakes collect on his black eyelashes. I just want to see those beautiful golden-brown eyes one last time.

It only takes Ryder a few seconds but the second he looks up at me, I know.

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