Page 44 of Voices

The water instantly warms my chilled feet, and as I slowly lower into the water, the first traces of relaxation work their way into my body since I woke up.

I lean back and take a slow, deep breath. The water smells like my ocean breeze body wash; it has me wishing it was Shane’s scent instead. At the thought of how he saw me act this morning, I slide down until I’m submerged underwater.

He must think I’m crazy.

I was so far in my head that he probably ran out of here the second he got dressed and I just didn’t notice.

He’ll keep as far away from me as possible, and I’ll never see him again.

I’m so fucked up.

I’m grabbed under my arms and hauled up to a sitting position.

“Charlie, are you okay?”

I cough and suck in air, keeping my eyes shut tight. Leaning forward, I pull my knees up and hug them to my chest and rest my forehead on my knees.

“I didn’t know if you were trying to hold your breath and relax under there or what, but I couldn't let you stay under any longer.”

His hand rubs up and down my knobby spine. If he feels the raised scars, he doesn’t say anything.

“I ordered some food. It should be here in about thirty minutes.”

Why does he keep doing these things for me? Why hasn’t he left?

His finger skims over the side of my face. “Look at me, beautiful.”

I turn my head to face him. He’s kneeling next to the tub, his perfect face a few inches from mine.

“Why don’t you lean back and relax. You’ve had an eventful mental fight this morning, and it’s only nine-thirty.”

He runs his fingers through my wet hair and down to the base of my neck.

“Come on. Lay back, I’ll help.”

I slowly release my legs and lean back on his hand. As my legs straighten, I cover my dick with one hand while keeping my legs together and hold onto his on my chest with my other. I look up at him as I relax. He has this gentleness about him that I wouldn’t expect from a big hockey player. It breaks my heart a little that my own twin never cared about me this much.

A tear runs down my cheek as my chest starts to ache for a relationship I’ve never had.

Shane wipes it away with a wet thumb.

“You’re alright, beautiful. Take a deep breath and try to relax. I’m not going anywhere.”

I do as he says while keeping eye contact and taking deep breaths with him. He shifts so he’s sitting, then starts stroking my hair. My eyes roll to the back of my head, and I let out an embarrassing purr at how good it feels.

He chuckles but continues rubbing my scalp until it’s too difficult to open my eyes back up.

I’m startled awake by a pounding on my door. I sit up so fast that water splashes over the edge of the tub, making a mess on the floor. I grip my chest trying to get my lungs to expand as my heart tries to pump right out of my chest.

“Shhh. Shhh. You’re okay. It’s just the food.”

Shane is bent over me with a towel in his hands. I look around the bathroom and try to figure out how long I’ve been in here.

There’s another loud knock on my door making me jump.

“One second!” Shane yells.

“Come on, beautiful. Let’s get you out so I can grab that before they put a hole in your door.”

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