Page 47 of Voices

I scoot forward a little, so my ass is almost to the edge of the seat and spread my legs. I clasp my hands together and place them on my lap with my elbows resting on the armrests. I look up as he comes back holding my white Tampa Bay Thunder hat.

He tries to hand it to me, but I hold up my interlocked fingers. “Sorry, I’m comfortable.” I smile then chuckle as he rolls his eyes and puts my hat on backwards. When he turns, I adjust it so it sits where I normally wear it.

He connects his phone to the Bluetooth speaker on the table.So Coldby Breaking Benjamin comes on and as the intro plays, he starts drawing. He gets lost in what he’s doing and it’s such an amazing experience watching his face as he works. For the most part, he has an almost bored look, but I think it’s just what he looks like when he’s concentrating. He bites that lower lip again and again while scrunching his face. He trades one pencil for another, absorbed in what he’s doing.

I have no idea how long I sit here but when he sits back, rotating his wrist with a small smile on his face, I get up and walkover to him. When I go around the easel and see his drawing of me, I’m speechless. I thought he was just drawing me but he added the window, curtains, the corner of his table, and a cord that I hadn’t noticed plugged in behind me.

“It’s not finished. I still need to add depth with shading and the different textures. I don’t know if I want to keep it greyscale or add color. Maybe watercolors, I’m not sure.”

He looks at the drawing while he talks to me, the wheels still turning in his head.

“It’s amazing. I love it.”

His cheeks flush as he smiles at the drawing. “Thanks.”

Reaching down for his hands I pull him to a stand. “How about I take you out somewhere? I have the perfect spot that’s about forty minutes from here and I can guarantee nobody but us will be there.”

He looks down at himself. “Should I change?”

“You don’t have to, but it is still unseasonably warm outside.”

He nods. “I’ll go put something else on.” He drops my hands as he heads to the door. I look back down at the drawing, still amazed at how he was able to capture so much in what felt like a couple of minutes.

I walk to the window and close the curtains like he had them then shut off the light before closing the door behind me as I step out. Charlie’s door is open, but I don’t see him. I find him sitting on his floor in tight black skinny jeans and shirtless. He’s in the same spot I found him in this morning with the same blank look. He has a grey shirt in his hands that he’s twisting over and over.

I sit down in front of him and stop his hands with mine. I pull the shirt from his grip and bring his hands to my lips, noting how clammy they are. He blinks slowly. His breath hitches when he finally focuses on me.

“I-I’m sorry.” A few tears slide down his cheeks as he squeezes his eyes closed. “You d-don’t have to stay with m-me. I know y-you have b-better things to d-do.”

With his hands still in mine I pull him to me until he gets the hint and climbs in my lap. “Baby, I don’t want to be anywhere else. Iwantto spend the day with you. Iwantto be with you to celebrate your birthday.” I kiss the top of his head then lay my cheek on it. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

He shakes his head and curls into a tighter ball on my lap. I rub his bare back, feeling the multiple scars under his tattoo. I look down and trace one of the wheels in the steampunk-style tattoo. It’s big. It starts at the top of his spine and goes down to his waist, spreading the width of his ribs. It has a big old-looking clock at the top with cracked glass that has Roman numerals with the time of ten ‘o two. The whole thing looks like it’s being ripped from his skin around the edges.

As my fingers touch one of the raised scars, he jerks upright and scrambles out of my lap. He quickly pulls the shirt over his head and stands up. It’s another long-sleeved shirt but this one is heathered grey with a skull design on it. He sits on the edge of his bed putting his socks on then pulls on checkered Vans.

Standing up, he walks out of the room without looking at me.

What is going on with him?

When I reach him, he’s sticking his phone and keys in his pockets by the front door. I slip my slides on and pat my pockets making sure I have everything and follow him out.

I grab his hand as we walk to the elevator. “I have to stop at home real quick to change then we’ll hit the road.”

He nods, not saying anything.

I let out a sigh as he lets go of my hand and steps into the elevator.

Chapter Fifteen

Charlie

He felt the scar. There’s no way he didn’t feel the others but that one was the deepest and is also the biggest. How do I explain how I got them?

You’re such a fucking idiot.

He’s going to find out.

You can’t hide them anymore.

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