Page 59 of Voices

She sits up and reaches into her bag. Pulling out a water bottle and handing it to me. I try to give her a smile in thanks, but I can’t make my lips move. I take a small sip of water, savoring the cool feeling of the water rushing down my sore throat. I go to put the lid back on, but Lily shakes her head and lifts the bottle back to my lips.

“You need more than that. You sound like you smoked an entire pack of cigarettes.”

I drink half the bottle, relieved when she doesn’t make me drink more.

“Why would she come in when you weren’t here? Wait, did she do that?” She points to the canvas.

I nod, feeling numb.

“Do you think she recognizes him from the team?”

“I don’t know. He gave me his hockey hoodie and she found it.” I lift my chin toward my stool.

She stands up and walks over to where it’s sitting. Capping the marker, she sets it on the table, then picks up the hoodie. Looking at the picture for a minute she comes back and sits next to me.

“It doesn’t look like she wrote on the hoodie. I know the picture is destroyed but you can always draw it again. I’m pretty sure Sticks wouldn’t mind sitting for another one.” She bumps my shoulder with hers. “He’s a good guy. You shouldn’t fear being yourself with your parents. I know they’re probably homophobic bigots but if they can’t love you for you then you don’t need them in your life.”

She’s right. But the truth is Iamscared of them, and I most likely will always fear them to some degree. My father has expressed his disgust towards anyone who even appears to be part of the LGBTQ community. He made it clear that I would not be welcomed in his house if I hadanyfeelings towards other men. And unfortunately, I do need to keep him in my life because he’s holding the second half of my trust fund. I need to graduate college to receive it and once I do, I’m using it to move far away and start a new life.

“Come on. Let’s get you off this hard floor and out of here for a little bit.” She stands and holds out her hands to help me up.

I get to my feet and hold her hand as we leave my art room. The sun is brightly shining in from my glass doors as I walk to the kitchen. Lily comes up beside me and leans on the counter.

“You missed your class. I had Sam email her notes to you so you know what happened.”

This girl is the best. I don’t deserve her friendship, but I’m glad to have her looking out for me.

I side hug her and whisper my thanks into her curls. She steps back and heads to the fridge. “Are you hungry? I’m not taking no for an answer so come up with a different one.” She smiles over her shoulder as she opens the door. “Wow. Where did all of this come from? There’s so many fruits and vegetables.” She pops up with a bowl of grapes and a huge smile. “This is screaming Shane Hawkins all over it.”

I snort and shake my head at her, trying to hide my smile.

She sets the bowl down between us, tosses a grape in the air, and catches it in her mouth. After she chews and swallows, she turns to face me with her back against the counter.

“I have a class in about thirty minutes but I was thinking of skipping it so we can go hang out in the art building. I’m working on this piece that’s nothing but hands.” She wiggles her fingers in my face, laughing.

“But you hate drawing hands.”

“Exactly! What better way to get better at it than drawing them over and over and over again?”

I guess that makes sense, but I don’t want to be by art work right now.

“You shouldn’t skip class for me. It’s not worth you missing something important. I’ll find something to do while you’re in class.” I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile.

She studies me with her head tilted, hand in the grape bowl.

“If you’re sure you don’t need me then I’ll go. But I promise I’ll be the first one out then we can go get a late lunch or early dinner.” She grins as she puts the grapes away then grabs my hand to leave.

I walk her to her class and wave bye as she heads inside. It’s finally starting to cool down during the day, so I decide to go for a walk. I let my feet lead me around campus and when I almost trip over a branch, I realize that I’m in the woods.

Looking around I don’t recognize any of these trees. I don’t see the huge tree I usually lean against anywhere.

Where the hell am I?

I pull my phone from my pocket and see that I’ve been walking for almost two hours. There’s a text from Lily asking if I’m going out to eat with her and Noah. That was about an hour ago. But she knows if I don’t answer a text about eating, I’m not going.

I walk through the woods for a little longer until it starts to get darker. As I finally see my tree, I hear voices approaching. I squat down behind a nearby tree as they get closer.

“Slow down Benny. I can’t twist my ankle before the season has even started.” Her voice sounds familiar.

---