Page 64 of Voices

I pull out my phone and call him. I hear the bass of the song cut off, replaced byBring Me to Lifeby Evanescence. It plays for thirty seconds before stopping and being replaced by the song that was playing before.

I put my ear to the door listening for any movement. I hear what I think is a door opening but nothing else. I knock again then put my forehead to the door. “Charlie? It’s me. Can you please open the door?” I close my eyes as I will him to come to the door.

After what seems like an hour but was only a few minutes, I hear the lock click. I open my eyes as he slowly opens the door. I don’t know what I was expecting but Charlie with deep purple half-moons under his eyes, hair a disheveled greasy mess, wearing an oversized shirt with no pants, along with bright red welts on his arms, and reeking of weed, wasn’t it.

He's looking down at his bare feet as he hugs himself. He takes a step back as I step towards him. I keep walking to him until I’m inside with the door closed behind me. He’s standing there, not moving, looking at the floor. I slowly walk up to him with my hand out so he can see that I’m going to touch him. He flinches slightly as my hand lands on his bare shoulder. His skin is ice cold.

I move closer until I’m right in front of him. He’s still zoned out looking at the floor as I bring my arms around him to wrap him in a hug. He’s shivering as I tighten my hold, but he doesn’t push me away.

I don’t know how long we stand here for, but he doesn’t say anything or even cry. I rub his back before I lean back to lift his chin up with my finger. His eyes have lost that vibrant golden hue I’ve found myself wanting to see all the time. They’re now bloodshot and dark brown looking more exhausted than I’ve ever seen him. My throat tightens as tears threaten to spill.

I brush my thumbs over the purple under his eyes. “Please talk to me, beautiful.”

Chapter Nineteen

Charlie

Everything is moving in slow motion except Shane keeps moving like he’s vibrating. I can’t explain it. All I know is I need him to stop moving before I get a headache. His warm hands feel so damn good against my frigid skin. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting on the cold tile floor in my bathroom before I heard his ringtone interruptLimitsby Bad Omens. All I know is one second, I’m in a euphoric haze not feeling a damn thing, and then I’m engulfed by Shane. His bodywash, his deodorant, his heat, and then a smell that’s just him.

“What’s going on, beautiful? How can I help?Pleaselet me help you.” He sounds like he’s begging me for something, but I have no idea what.

I’m fine.

“No, you are not fine, Charlie. When’s the last time you ate or took a warm shower?”

I shrug, or I think I do. I don’t know but my bed sounds like the perfect place to be right now. I step out of his warmth and immediately regret it when I start to shiver.

The walk to my room takes longer than it should. I make my way over the dirty clothes and empty bottles that are strewn all over the floor. The new blankets Lily bought me are piled on my bed like a mini mountain. I find my opening and crawl under them, making a cocoon out of the bottom two.

Cool air hits my face as the top blankets are pulled off my head.

“Nooo,” I whine as I reach for them with my heavy eyelids refusing to open. As the pressure from the blankets returns, I fall into the sweet comfort of sleep.

Charles, your mother tells me you are living like a filthy animal. Garbage everywhere and dirty clothes all over the place. You might have paid for that shit hole, but I can take it away! You’ll be out of college and living on the streets faster than you can blink. You’re an embarrassment to the Alexander name!

You should take tips on how Benjamin lives. He has hired cleaners to keep his house looking its absolute best. He’d never let trash collect on the floor for infestation.

If I catch you living like the help one more time, you’ll be cut off from everything attached to the Alexander name! Your mother will no longer supply your pills, I’ll have Benjamin claim the rest of your trust fund, and I’ll get the dean to expel you. And you can say goodbye to all your worthless dreams.

Conrad will be out there at the end of the month to make sure you’re living like a civilized adult. Give him a hard time and everything ends! You know I can make it all disappear.

Including Shane Hawkins.

I wake with a gasp as my father’s voice digs its claws at my head. I had missed his call when my phone died while I was in the woods freaking out after Benji left. I went back and forth on whether I should tell Shane about Benji’s threat or stay away from him altogether. I sat in the cold for hours and by the time I forced my legs to walk home, it was almost midnight. I didn’t bother turning my phone on, just tossed it on the charging pad and fell asleep. Lily’s the one that reminded me to turn it on when she saw me in class the following day.

I wanted so badly to open the text from Shane when it turned on but the two missed calls from my father couldn’t be ignored.He didn’t leave a message after the first call, but he let me have it when I didn’t answer the second time. My place wasn’t even that messy. I know I had clothes shoved under my bed to hide the mess from Shane, but my garbage can wasn’t even half full. Leave it to my mother to exaggerate her findings to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did call Marie out here to clean as she refilled my pills.

After I listened to my father’s furious message and him say Shane’s name at the end, it was decided that I couldn’t be seen with him anymore. Because my father’s threats are never empty ones. I can’t risk Shane disappearing because of me.

Groaning, I wiggle around until I find the edge of my bed and use all my strength to pull the sheets back. My room is dark, but I can see the sun shining around the edges of the blackout curtains. A twinge from my bladder has me swinging my feet to the floor as I sit up. I quickly shuffle to the bathroom with my eyes half open to take a piss.

After washing my hands, I open the cabinet without looking in the mirror. I grab the pill bottle labeled Percocet and take two. That should help carry me through the day, then it’ll be the weekend so nobody will have a reason to bother me.

As I close the cabinet and turn, I notice a faint smell of the skunky scent from the joint Pete gave me as a late birthday gift. That shit was strong as hell and it had me floating on a cloud most of the night.

Walking back into my room to get ready for class, I stop in my tracks.

It’s clean.

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