Page 66 of Voices

“Do you think it’ll be ok if I go? I don’t want to be a distraction for Shane and make him mess up. What if he can’t concentrate knowing I’m in the seats behind him? What if he sees me and realizes it was a mistake inviting me? What if Ben-”

“Charlie, stop!”

“What if Benji sees me and knows that I’ve been hanging out with Shane and then my father… Oh God. My parents willbe there! It’s the first game of the season. There’s no way they would miss it.”

The panic rises as my heart starts racing. I reach for the bench next to me with a shaking hand and sit down, lowering my head between my knees.

I can’t go.

He doesn’t really want you there anyway!

He thinks you’re a loser who can’t take care of himself.

He only invited you so the seats won’t be empty.

You’d be lucky if he even looks over at you!

He probably only wanted to invite Lily but had to invite you so she would go.

“Charlie, can you hear me? Take a deep breath and hold it for five seconds and slowly let it out. Come on, I’ll do it with you.”

I try to take a deep breath, but I can’t. It’s like someone’s sitting on my chest. I hear myself start wheezing as I screw my eyes closed.

“Noah is right around the corner. He’ll be right there. Slow your breathing for me, Charlie.”

I try to do as she says but only get to two seconds before sucking in air and then hold my breath all together wishing for this to end.

A second later there are hands on my shoulders and heat radiating off the person in front of me.

“Charlie, look at me.”

Noah. He sounds out of breath, but I don’t know if he really is or if it’s the whooshing in my ears from my heart beating so fast.

He pushes my shoulders back until I’m face-to-face with him. He’s on his knees in front of me, hair blown all over the place with red cheeks. I’m still breathing too fast as he gets up in my face.

“Slow, Charlie. Follow me.” He breathes deeply and I try to copy him, but my lungs are on fire. “Again. You can do it. Go. Slow.”

Closing my eyes tightly, icy blue ones appear along with a bright white smile. I feel my heartbeat start to slow as my breathing becomes easier.

Reopening my eyes, Noah nods and stands up. I follow as I look down to find my phone on the sidewalk between my feet.Picking it up, I see that Lily is still on the line.

“I’m okay,” I rasp into my phone.

“Thank goodness.” She blows out a deep breath that sounds like she’s been holding this whole time. “I’m going to tell Shane that we can’t make it tonight. You, Noah, and I can stay in and watch movies all night. It’ll still be a good time.”

She says it like she’s trying to convince herself that her plans are enough. But she’s been stopping by all week checking up on my sorry ass and I know staying in is the last thing she wants to do on a Friday night.

I bite my lip debating if they should just go to the game without me. I catch Noah’s eye. He must read my mind as he pats me on the back and takes my phone.

“We’re all going to the game tonight, Lily. So, grab your Gannon U shit and be ready by five-thirty so we can walk to the stadium together.”

I hear her ask something that has Noah looking at me. He says yes and I can hear Lily’s squeal as he pulls my phone from his ear.

“We’ll see you later.” He hangs up and hands me my phone back. “Let’s get you to class.” He walks ahead of me as I look down and follow.

“I’ll be waiting out here when you’re finished then we’ll get ready at your place before grabbing Lily. Sound good?”

I nod and walk up the steps.

---