Page 5 of Phoenix

I’m listening to him, trying to keep him distracted, and trying to keep an ear to what Trina is reporting to Doctor Larson, too.

As the begin to slice into his clothing, I do my best to distract him.

“Where do you go to school, Brendon? What grade are you in?”

He doesn’t seem to understand me at first, but then he answers, “Saint Anthony’s. I’m in...f-f-fifth grade. OW! NO! Please stop.”

“Brendon, look at me. It’s really important that they get these clothes off of you, okay? We need to see exactly where you’re hurting so we can help you better. Okay?”

He nods. “I’m so scared.”

“I know, sweetie. I know.”

While we talk, I notice his oxygen level is dropping steadily, so I remove the cannula and place a mask over his nose and mouth, hoping it will help bring his levels back up. I also notice singeing around his nostrils and darkened skin around his mouth that was missed before, and suspect he took in a lot more smoke than initially reported, so I alert Doctor Larson immediately to the changed status.

He’s scared, crying, and in unimaginable pain. Trina’s removal of his clothes didn’t help any of that, but it did reveal most of his left side is burned from his arm and shoulder, down his side, and to his mid-thigh. They’re deep, full thickness burns. It’s bad.

The smell is something that cannot be described, yet it’s a smell that haunts me nearly every day. It almost smells like a grill on a summer day, but mixed with coppery scent of blood and the unyielding smell of burnt hair.

It’s nauseating.

Focus, Nora. Don’t lose focus now. He needs you.

The more we talk, the raspier his little voice gets, and Doctor Larson makes the call he needs to be intubated. We need to protect his airway as fast as we can, before it swells to a point where we need to take more drastic measures to help him breathe.

“Okay, sweetie. You seem to be having a bit of trouble breathing. That’s really unsafe, so we need to put a tube into your mouth that will help you breathe easier. I know it’s scary, but we are going to give you some medicine to help you go to sleep. You won’t feel anything.”

“But...what if I don’t wake up?”

My heart...

“You will...I promise.”

Strike two. Never make promises you can’t keep.

Doctor Larson takes his place at the head of the bed and waits for the sedation to kick in, then places the tube.

All of this has happened in a matter of minutes, but it feels as though it’s lasted forever. Once the tube is in place, we focus on treating the burns. Doctor Larson orders medication and fluids that will help replace what Brendon has already lost, and will continue to lose, as his burns swell and ooze.

I start dressing the burns, covering them so we can send Brendon up to the burn unit for further treatment and monitoring as soon as a bed is ready.

That’s one of the hardest parts of this job.

Treating them initially then sending them off to a different part of the hospital for the rest of their care. Sometimes we are given updates on their progress, sometimes we aren’t, but when transport comes to wheel Brendon away from the emergency unit, ninety minutes after his arrival, I have a hard time letting go.

He’s still sleeping, of course, so he doesn’t know that in the ninety minutes he’s been here, I’ve found a kinship with him. He reminds me of Marco.

I stand in the hallway, watching until he and the transport team disappear into the elevators, and then I feel someone step beside me and pull me into a sideways hug.

“You did good, child. Real good,” Trina says.

“I promised him we’d keep him alive. I shouldn’t have done that,” I admit.

“You acted and spoke out of emotion. That’s okay, but you’re right, you probably shouldn’t have said it.”

“He was scared...”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.”

“All I could think about was my parents and how I hope whomever tried to help them put their mind at ease, even when they knew better.” My eyes close as their memory dances in my brain.

Trina kisses my temple. “He’ll be all right. They will take care of him up there.”

“Nora? My office, please.” I hear Doctor Larson’s voice echo through the halls.

“I knew it wouldn’t be long,” I say, as I turn on my heel.

“Just smile and nod, child. Smile and nod.”

---