Page 83 of Phoenix

The look on her face is forever seared into my brain. I’ll never forget it. The day I scared her off.

I hear the door push open before I hear my name. “Case?”

“Go away, Grayson. I’m fine. I just need a minute then I’ll go.” I don’t stop moving, I just keep pacing.

“Like fuck am I going away,” he says. His voice is louder now, as he comes into my line of sight. “What happened out there?”

“Is Nora okay? Cadence? I made a scene at her party. Grayson, I’m so sorry.”

“Cadence is fine. She’s five years old. She’s already forgotten and is back to her party. Nora is, well, she’s pissed off and confused.” He grabs me by the shoulders and forces me to stop moving. “Look at me. Relax and tell me what happened.”

“But she’s physically okay?” I ask again, needing to know I didn’t hurt her.

“She told us she lost her footing. She’s okay,” he adds, and I relax just a little.

“I fucked up, man. I knew being here would be hard, but I came anyway. I wouldn’t miss this day for Cadence.”

Ever since that day when we were kids, even being near a pool, a lake, or even the ocean has been nearly impossible for me. My therapist says it’s a form of PTSD and even now, decades later, I can’t shake it.

“I told you I could tell her you had to work. You didn’t have to come. I know how hard it was,” Grayson says.

“I wouldn’t flake on her like that. I’m a grown man. I should be able to deal with something so fucking small.” I’m angry now, and embarrassed. Embarrassed this is even a problem. Embarrassed I reacted the way I did.

“Grown or not, you can’t help what your brain is telling you. You almost died when we were kids, Case. Had that police officer not been driving past at the exact right moment to help me get you out, you would have died. That’s not something you just get over.”

“Those people out there—Amelia, Cadence, her friends, most definitely Nora—didn’t need to know, or have my bullshit rained down over them. My job is to protect and serve. How can anyone trust me when I’m too scared to fucking swim in a pool?” I shout, throwing a fist into the wall, cracking the drywall and breaking the skin on my knuckles. “Fuck!”

I shake out my hand as pain radiates upward from my fist. I flatten it out to look at the damage and see blood appearing on each knuckle.

“Fuck’s sake, man. Easy. Don’t break your damn hand,” Grayson says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Too late. Fuck.” It really hurts. “I need to get out of here.”

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asks.

“I just need to shake this off and gather my shit.”

“And talk to Nora. She deserves to know why this happened,” he says.

I slide my uninjured hand through my hair and give it a tug. “She does...and she will.”

Grayson walks out and back to the party, leaving me to take a moment to wash the blood from my hand in the sink and then head back out into the clubhouse so I can get to my truck.

I push open the front exit door and step out into the balmy summer air, making a beeline toward my vehicle, hoping no one who saw the incident decides to say anything.

Two rows over and six spaces back sits my truck and there is a petite, curvy, blonde who I don’t deserve leaning against it, with a blue towel wrapped around her body and flip-flops on her feet.

“Phoenix...” I say. It’s all I can, even though she deserves for me to drop to my knees and apologize, I just stand here and say my nickname for her.

“What the fuck, Case? What was that?” she says, with a shake of her head.

“I can explain and I will just...not here. Not now.” I need to go. I need to leave. I need to go run. Literally and figuratively.

“If not now, then when? And it better be really good because I don’t let anyone shout at me like that. Not you. Not anyone.” Tears are forming in her eyes and my fingers itch to wipe them away, but I don’t want to touch her and cross the boundaries that have inevitably formed after this.

“Come to my house tonight. Nine.”

“Why should I? Give me one reason why I should give you the time of day?” she asks, stepping closer to me until we are nearly touching.

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