Page 91 of Phoenix

“Do you love your job?”

“I’m good at it and I help people on a daily basis,” I say, defensively.

“That’s not what I asked.”

I place my purse on the table and pull a chair out to sit. “It’s my mom. This is what she always wanted for me. She wanted me to be a nurse in the hospital she worked in. She loved that place. She loved her job. I can’t just throw that away, Case. I wouldn’t do that.”

Between my fear of disappointing my mother and the fear of being too attached to a cop, knowing he takes unnecessary risks—outside of the line of duty—just like my dad did because he feels it’s still his duty, I have to convince myself to walk away at the end of this week. I have to.

“But wouldn’t she want you to be happy?”

“I have to go back, Case, we knew this when we started this arrangement. This was supposed to be just sex. Nothing more.”

“Can you look me in the eye and tell me it’s not more?”

“No, so I’m not even going to try.” I finally meet his gaze. “I am too attached to you and I don’t want to get hurt. You were so vulnerable with me last night, and I can’t tell you what that means to me, but it scared me. I started to really see past Saturday here...with you.”

“I can’t explain this hold you have on me, Nora. It’s been there since the first time I saw you. If you want to leave in a week, leave. I want you to go where you’re happy, but I don’t want our time to end yet.”

He steps forward and stands by me where I’m sitting and places a hand to my cheek.

“I could feel what you were about to do. You were about to end us right here and now.”

“Yes...I was.”

“Don’t.”

He doesn’t say another word, he simply bends at the waist and kisses me so sweetly, I can feel a tingle build and spread from my toes to my head.

I don’t want to end things now, but I need them to. I need them to before we take things to a point we can’t take back. Before we catch real feelings, but I can tell by this kiss, it’s too late.

***

I left a couple hours after our kiss at the table. We had breakfast together, shared another kiss by the door, then I left so he could get himself and Arya ready for work.

After exiting the Uber, I climb the stairs and pause with my hand on the door. I see Amelia in the main foyer, stealing a kiss from Grayson. Their arms are around each other, his back is to the door, and she’s wrapped around him.

Their love is so pure and perfect. The ultimate love goal, really.

I could feel that with Case; that’s what scares me the most.

I drop my purse onto the wooden table by the door, and go back down the front porch stairs, heading straight for the ocean.

Amelia told me once, when her divorce was finalized. We share the need to cleanse our souls in the water. That’s what I need right now.

I kick my sandals off in the sand and walk straight into the waves, clothes and all.

I sink under the water until the dull roar is all I hear. I hold my breath until it burns, then I break the surface, letting the waves gently carry me back to the shoreline.

I do this again and again. Finding my zen and letting the power of the water take control, allowing me, for just a moment, to simply be.

Only when my arms and legs ache, do I finally stay ashore. I walk out of the waves and back onto the dry sand. The tide carried me a bit farther down than where I started.

When my eyes settle on where I left my sandals, I see my fire-haired friend sitting in the sand, waiting for me.

I approach her and find her holding something out for me.

“I brought you a towel.”

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