Page 132 of Falcon

Chapter 29

Faith

I stood outside his room door for what felt like an eternity, nearly knocking and telling him I changed my mind, and I’d stay with him no matter what, but the thought of him finding more power in fighting Braxton than choosing to stay with me—to stay SAFE with me—made my feet start moving. I think part of me was even standing there because I had hoped he’d come after me, but…he didn’t.

I knew I couldn’t leave the city yet, but I just needed to get away as soon as I could because I needed to rip this Band-Aid off. I needed to go before I simply couldn’t. I’ll make my way home tomorrow when I’m thinking a bit more clearly.

I don’t know how I managed to make it all the way to the lobby, to the front desk to pay for my own room, and then up to said room before fully breaking down.

As soon as the door to the single queen hotel room closed behind me, sobs racked my body to the point of pain. It’s a deep ache that has made a home in my chest and it feels like the weight of the world is there, pressing down, trying to make me break.

I didn’t want to leave him. It was the last thing I wanted to do, actually, but he didn’t give me a choice. Not at all.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t just sit there while he fought himself into an early grave.

It was all I could think about while I was soaking in the tub, looking down at the scars that mar my hips and the tattoo on my thigh. Reminders of what I have been through and what I can overcome.

I used them for strength to say what I needed to say to him, and then he told me he loved me, and I turned into complete mush because I love him too.

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and see that he’s already calling me. I wait for it to go to voicemail before setting his notifications to mute and toss it into my purse.

I fall onto the bed and curl into a small ball under the blankets and cry myself to sleep.

***

My head is pounding when my phone begins ringing from across the room in my purse.

I push to sit up and every joint in my body cracks. Sun is peeking in through the curtains and I glance at the time.

Eight fifteen. Whoa. I didn’t move for a solid ten hours.

I take a moment to survey how I’m feeling, and honestly, I’m just hoping it was all a bad dream.

When I walk across the room and see the dozens of missed calls and texts from Marco, I know it wasn’t. This is my reality now.

I don’t bother listening to the voicemails or opening the texts, I just toss the phone to my bed and go into the bathroom for a shower.

To wash away the grime. To wash away his scent that is still lingering on my skin.

I turn on the water as hot as it will go, which seems to be my cathartic process when I’m trying to cleanse my body and my mind.

I don’t know if I can leave this city without knowing he’s okay after the fight tomorrow. It’s easy to talk a big game and make choices when your emotions are high and you are nothing but a big festering ball of feelings. I know I still need to go because at the end of the day, I can’t just let him do this to himself, but my heart won’t let me leave until I see he makes it through this fight unharmed.

When I emerge from the bathroom thirty minutes later, there is another missed call flashing on my screen, Nora.

I know he’s probably called her and told her what is going on, and I should ignore it, but a familiar voice from home is something I need right now.

I slide my finger across the screen to answer. “Hello?”

“Holy shit! Finally! I’ve called you like four times. Are you all right? I talked to my brother and he said you had a fight and you left. Where are you?”

“I’m still at the hotel. I got myself my own room.”

“Are you coming home?”

“I was going to try to catch a flight today, but…I don’t think I can leave until I know he’s okay after the fight tomorrow night. I haven’t changed my mind, and I can’t just watch him do this to himself, but…I can’t make myself get on a plane yet.”

I sit on the edge of the bed, clutching the phone to my ear.

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