Page 4 of Open for Negotiation

I watch as he leaves and with every step he takes toward the door, my anxiety grows and grows. Being near Max, let alone being alone with him right now, is a heady, dangerous combination. My body is even betraying me. I’m so anxious, but my limbs are loose, my body is open and willing. I’d melt into him with no issue if he touched me right now.

As soon as the door clicks closed, we are alone, just he and I, staring at one another, unsure as to who should speak, should move first.

Luckily, he makes that choice for us.

“You look beautiful today.”

“Thank you.” I look down at my outfit, smoothing imaginary wrinkles. “Jackson seems nice.”

“Jackson is an asshole.” He laughs a little. “But he’s a good man. He’ll do well here, I think.” My entire body tingles when he takes a step closer to me. “But I didn’t ask you to stay back to talk about Jackson.”

My throat is dry, like there is sandpaper in place of flesh. “I know.”

“Max,” I sigh, taking a step back, my lower back connects with the sharp edge of the counter. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?” he presses on, stepping closer to me. Not enough to touch me, but enough for me to feel the heat of his body.

“This.” I motion between us. “You’re so intense and this is so intense. I’m losing my way even after just one time with you.”

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?” he asks with a tilt of his head.

“Yes, of course it is. Even you felt it in the car. The way we just parted ways without speaking. Now I’m feeling all of this stress and anxiety. I don’t want to feel that on a daily basis.”

He reaches forward and cups my cheek in his hand. I should pull away. I should run. I should know better. But instead, I lean my face into his touch, close my eyes, and nuzzle against his palm. It feels like I was always supposed to be here like this and that just doesn’t make any sense.

The moment is thwarted, however, by the sound of the kitchen door opening.

We break apart, pushing away from one another like we’ve been electrocuted to put as much space between us as possible. We have to ensure no one can catch us in a compromising position.

We barely make it before Geri from accounting strolls into the kitchen for her morning cup of coffee.

“Hi, guys,” she says with a smile on her face, way too chipper this early in the morning on a Monday. “Gotta get that morning cuppa joe, right?”

“Mmm hmm,” I say with a forced smile and make my way to the door, leaving my own coffee cup behind. “Better get the day going.”

I see Max make a move, raising his hand to stop me, to tell me to wait, but he can’t… not with Geri in the room, so I scramble out of the kitchen and back to my desk.

Feelings and memories I’d tried to outrun come flooding back.

College was always supposed to be the best time of your life. You’re finally an adult, out on your own, going to parties, going to class... football games. I did that. I left home, went to college in Texas and thought my life was finally beginning.

Then I met Carson Whitmore.

Division 1 college football coach extraordinaire.

It was a whirlwind fling that happened so quickly I couldn't catch my breath. He’d glance at me from the field and I was in the stands and smile. We’d sneak off after games when he’d finish with the press and have sex in his office. The sneaking around, the secrecy... the forbidden nature of it all was intoxicating. He even asked if he could take pictures of us and I'd agreed. I’d fallen in love and would have let him do anything he wanted.

And that decision nearly ruined my life.

I can’t do that again. I can’t put myself in that situation. We’ve already gone too far.

So, I fire up my email and begin typing… knowing exactly what I have to do.

Max

Jackson is waiting for me in my office with his brown Rader boots propped up on my desk and his hands behind his head. There’s also a smug grin on his two-day unshaven face.

“What’s going on with that?” he asks simply, as if I’m supposed to know what he’s talking about. I do, of course, but he doesn’t have to know that.

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