Page 105 of Counterfeit Connection

“Exactly what I said, Kaitlyn. There’s a flight taking off in one hour and you need to be on it.” I stand and round the desk, going toward her.

Instead of coming into my arms, she steps back. “You’re sending me away?”

“I’m keeping you safe. Look at all of this. Look at what happened last night. You could have been seriously injured or worse.”

“But I wasn’t. Look at me. I’m fine.” She holds her arms out to the side, obviously trying to hide a slight wince.

“You’re not fine!” I raise my voice and hate myself instantly. “Look at what’s happened to you because of me.” I place my hand on my chest. “I just need you out of London, Kaitlyn. Please, go collect your things. We have to go soon.”

I need her to walk away. If she doesn’t, I’ll crack and this will all be for nothing. If I crack, I won’t let her leave.

“Are you coming with me?” Her voice is so sad.

“Not today. I have to stay here in case the police need me for next steps.”I’m such a fucking liar.

Her demeanor changes. I watch as her face shifts from confusion and sadness to anger. “So that’s what this is? You’re just sending me on my way? Three thousand miles away from you, at that, with no clear indication of where we stand?”

“No indication…? Kaitlyn, please. We need to see how all of this is going to play out. It isn’t safe for you here.”

I keep saying the same things over and over, only slightly different. I don’t want to say too much because the dam will break. I don’t want to say too little or we will be frozen here fighting. I can’t take that and she shouldn’t have to.

I take a step toward her. This time, she doesn’t retreat. My hands wrap around her shoulders while my lips press against her forehead. “Do you want me to help you?” I whisper.

“No,” she whispers back. “I’ve got it.”

Her body slowly rolls out of my fingers and out of my line of sight. I feel like there are two of me inhabiting my body right now. There’s the one who feels this is the only way and the other who is slowly dying with each minute that passes.

The car ride to the airport isn’t any easier. She’s anxious to be in a car again so soon and it’s about the destination. Kaitlyn has resumed her efforts to try and climb inside my skin. I let her, even though I know I shouldn’t. Her petite fingers lace and unlace with mine. The top of her head is nested perfectly under my chin as the pad of my index finger becomes my pencil, drawing over every line of her palm.

As we reach the hangar, I know I’m going to have to let go soon. I nearly feel physically ill. The instant chill will be more than I can handle, but this isn’t about me, it’s about Kaitlyn. If I fall apart, she’ll never do what I’m asking. I can’t let her know I’m already dying inside.

We’re standing on the concrete runway, facing each other at the bottom of the open staircase to the jet. I have a million words I want to use, but none will capture this moment. “Fly safely, baby. If you know nothing else, know I love you.”

“Griffin, I love you too. I fought for you. Why aren’t you fighting for me?” she asks.

“If that means you get hurt, or worse, I won’t fight. I can’t.”

“Can’t you see I’m hurting anyway?”

I force the lump in my throat back down to the depths of my core. “Go home. I’ll meet you there later.”

“Okay. When’s later? In a few days? Weeks? Months? Never?”

The silence between us isn’t because of the roar of the engines. The silence stems from I have an answer that can’t be spoken. Kaitlyn understands the silence more than any words I could have.

She takes one step up so we’re eye to eye. Kaitlyn takes my face in her soft hands, staring into my eyes. I have to close them so she can’t see my soul. I feel a kiss on one eyelid, and then the other, before she places her soft full lips on mine. That connection is what makes me open my eyes once more.

Kaitlyn whispers, “Never once did I think you were a coward, Griffin. Until now.” She turns her back to me before walking up the rest of the stairs and into the cabin of the plane. I expect to see her face in her favorite seat. She’s not there. Her choice was to sit on the opposite side of the plane so I can no longer see her.

I’ve made my choice, now I have to live with hers.

Tobias is waiting for me when I get back to the apartment. He let himself in and has made himself at home on my sofa.

“Sure, Tobias, you can come in,” I say, waving my hand across the room.

“Shut the fuck up, mate. I used my key, as I’ve earned with my best friend privileges.” He stands up and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Where’s Kaitlyn?”

“About forty-thousand feet in the air, heading west.”

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