Page 109 of Counterfeit Connection

“Go to her, Griffin. She needsyouand it’s obvious you need her. Work through this. Don’t let her go. If you two can be in the same room, especially near her family where she may feel safer, the love you two share will be enough.”

I hang my head and walk toward my mother. Raising my hands up, I rub them up and down her upper arms in a gesture of love. “Thanks for coming over. Everyone knows to reach out to you for your permission to launch the new face of Orion to the press. I need time to regroup. I’ll call you in a couple of days.” I place a kiss on her forehead. “I love you.”

My mother sighs in defeat. “I love you too, Griffy.”

Chapter 34

Kaitlyn

I was so hopeful that when I got to the farm, I would feel a weight lifted off of me. In some ways that was true. Hilary knew I needed time to have my father to myself so she decided to stay in her apartment in the city for a couple of days. I told her not to, but her absolute compassion won out.

After I got Marilyn settled and my bags in my room, I looked around and still saw Griffin everywhere. I could feel his presence in the kitchen, sitting at the counter drawing in the dark. It was almost like the divot in my mattress was still there from where he was. I didn’t care that it was pitch-black in the middle of the night, I wanted to spend time with Rocket.

In my sweatpants and sweatshirt with my work boots to my knees, I hooked him between the posts and gave him a goodbrushing. It gave my mind only one task to focus on. Move the brush on his coat. That’s all I had to do. I could give all my feelings to him, taking care of someone.

“Like that, boy? Yeah, I know. Look. I brought you a few carrots too. We’ll get back to basics tomorrow. I’ll give you oats and honey for breakfast then we can take a trail ride. I know you like the back field. I’m home now. I’m home.”

“Are you home though, Pixie?” my father asks from the barn door.

“Jesus, Dad.”

His hands go up. “Sorry, honey. I thought I heard you in the house then I saw the lights on out here. Couldn’t sleep?”

“No. To be honest, I didn’t even try. Sleep is kind of like food right now. I take it only when I feel like it.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Yeah, well, things aren’t exactly normal either.” I look at Rocket’s side, following the movement of my hand. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry. I never want to lie to you again. It made me feel gross, but it was how I could protect Griffin.”

“Sometimes people do strange things when they love someone.” My hand halts and I allow the brush to fall by my side. “Kaitlyn, no matter how you got together with Griffin or what stories you told yourselves, I knew you loved him and any person with eyes could see he worshiped you. He saw who you were and was completely attentive to you. Fake relationship, my ass.”

“Daddy!” I scold. “You’ve never talked to me like that.”

“Well, I’ve never been in a situation like this. His status was a shock then everything you went through in England. I’m still processing.”

“That makes two of us,” I reply, turning my attention back to Rocket.

I hear my father’s footsteps as he crosses the barn to approach my side. “You’ll survive this, Pixie. You’re strong like your mother. It may hurt like hell for a while, but you will come out on the other side stronger than before.”

“I love you, Daddy,” I say as I lean my head against his shoulder.

“I love you too.” He kisses the top of my head.

“I’m shocked Gilly hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Don’t you worry.” He chuckles. “She’s on her way.”

He wasn’t kidding. Gillian, Joseph, and Jason showed up the next morning and it was like I had to begin the mourning process all over again in my sister’s arms.

She lay with me in my bed and held me while I cried, while I slept, and while we simply talked everything through.

It’s not just missing Griffin, even though that is the most painful part, it’s the fact I have been immortalized as the woman who had sex with Griffin Shaw on his balcony for the whole world to see. According to the British media, I’m an American whore who was only after his money and power. That’s a hard pill to swallow, even though I know it isn’t true.

I’m a staunch feminist who believes a woman can sleep with whoever and do whatever she wants, but I’d be a liar if I said all of this didn’t hurt like hell.

Day seven, post breakup, my father decided to make my favorite breakfast in the entire world, so I put on my big girl panties and head downstairs to be with my family.

Color me shocked to find Tobias Carter, in all of his pressed slacks and fitted suit coat glory, standing in my father’s dining room. “Holy shit,” I whisper, a little too loudly.

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