Page 48 of Counterfeit Connection

This is the warmth you can only achieve with another person. Kaitlyn is not only warm on the outside, she’s exponentially warmer on the inside. While that is the physicality of what we’ve done, it’s much more than that. She’s given of herself to me and I’ve done the same. I don’t want to know if it means anything. I simply want to revel in this pure connection.

I can still feel the gentle rise and fall of her breath through her back against my chest. Her delicate arms are folded underneath mine in a submissive way that allows me, even if only for a moment, to be her protector from the outside world. It feels like a true honor and something I don’t want to give up in the next moment or even the one after that.

Marilyn is stalking across the floor, back and forth from the doorway to the bedside and back, meowing. She’s clearly ready for breakfast, but I don’t want to lose this connection just yet.

“Hey,” I whisper to the feline. “If you can be patient and wait a little longer, I’ll sneak you extra food.”

“I heard that,” Kaitlyn says with her eyes still closed and a smile on her face.

“Shit, did I wake you?” I ask, kissing the top of her head.

“I’ve been awake for a few minutes. You didn’t.” She snuggles back against me, as if we could physically be closer. You couldn’t fit a strand of hair between us.

“How are you feeling?” I lay my chin on the crown of her head and slide my fingers across her arms. She has goosebumps. “Are you cold?”

“Those aren’t from being cold. I think they are the Griffin Shaw effect.”

I chuckle. “What is that exactly?”

Kait turns over in my arms to snuggle her nose into my chest. I can feel her lips turn up into a smile against my skin. “Well…the best way I can describe it is, if you combine standing on the railroad tracks and a train hits you full force and the most stunning book boyfriend you’ve ever read coming to life off the pages. That’s you. I’ve been run over in the best way.”

“I can’t decide if that’s a compliment or if I need to change my approach.”

“Take my advice. Don’t change a thing.”

I hold her in silence for a moment longer before I say the thing I think we both might have on our minds. “We’ve taken the lines and completely erased them. In the light of day, are you okay with that?”

“Shockingly…yes. I’m making a pointed effort to not overanalyze things.” She tips her head back so we can make eye contact. “Are you okay with all of this? I mean, I don’t want you thinking I’m expecting anything more than what’s on paper.”

Why did that sentence make my stomach turn, even just a little?

“Kaitlyn, I have the sexiest woman in the world, naked and in my arms. I’m definitely okay with that.”

“Good, because we’re adults, right? I mean, surely, we can do what we agreed to do, enjoy ourselves immensely, and make sure you get your company.”

She wants to keep this casual and within the terms we laid out before we began this journey. I’d be lying to myself if I said this fact didn’t make me feel disappointed in a way I wasn’t expecting.

But I have to and will respect that boundary.

So, I take whatever it is I’m feeling that could upset this balance, fold it up into a small package, and shove it deep inside my chest where it will remain…where I can ignore it.

I roll our bodies until I’m on top of her. Her legs open naturally to allow me space to settle between them. “Enjoy ourselves immensely, you say?”

“If last night is any indication, immensely isn’t even a strong enough word.” A meow that is cut off when her feet hit the bed beside us interrupts the conversation. “I think someone is trying to tell us to get up because it’s food time. Would you like some breakfast too?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to serve me. How about you give me a moment and I’ll join you while your feline princess dines first.”

“I’ll agree only if we can come back to bed after and watch either movies all day or football. Guest’s choice.”

“American football, I presume? You’d be happy with either?” I ask.

“The only way I’d be pissed is if you said you like the Green Bay Packers.”

I smirk. “Are those the blokes that wear blocks of cheese on their heads?”

“They sure are.”

“Well, I think that’s a deal I can make.”

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