Page 28 of The Coffee Bar on Camellia Court

Juno looked down at her coffee and said nothing for several moments. Finally, she lifted her gaze to his. "Are you sure you want to know?"

Alex didn't hesitate. "I do."

She pressed her lips together in a thin line, took long breath in through her nose, then began in a flat, almost monotone voice. "I wrote lot of things, Alex. That I was sorry I couldn't tell you before I left. That my dad was making us leave in the middle of the night. Again. That he was making us skip town, to be more precise. I couldn't call or text you or respond to any of yours because he destroyed our phones; said he didn't want anyone to be able to track us."

"Track you?" This all sounded so surreal. Sure, Juno's parents, especially her father, had been oddly detached, uninvolved, to the point where it often seemed to Alex that Juno pretty much took care of herself. But why would he be afraid of being tracked? What had he done?

Juno continued in a more conversational tone, almost like she was telling someone else's story. "My father is an addict. Alcohol, drugs, rolling the dice; any and all of it. Sober, he's an exceptional gambler. Or an exceptional cheater, depending on your perspective. But wasted, he's a sorry excuse for a human being, and when he starts using, that's when things start catching up to him. Back then, that's when things always caught up to us, too. My mother, God bless her, enjoyed the lifestyle he provided while he was winning. Whenever things went belly up, she blindly believed him when he insisted he'd make everything good again, that the downturn had been someone else's fault. My mom also liked her oxy, and since my father kept her supplied with the stuff, she went along with just about anything he said," she added ruefully.

"You're talking in past tense," Alex murmured, his heart racing at her words. "Your parents… are they… gone?"

Juno made a rough sound at the back of her throat, half anger, half pain. "My dad killed my mom a few years after we left Autumn Lake."

14

Alex

Athisshockedlook,she explained in a droll voice, "He was her supplier, so as far as I'm concerned, he's the reason she's dead. My mom OD'd right after I turned eighteen and moved out. I came by their apartment to check on her and found her sitting in front of the television." Juno's eyes got a far away look, and she almost smiled. "She looked so peaceful. Like she was sleeping." She took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh, then almost flippantly added, "Maybe if I hadn't been so anxious to fly the coop…"

"Juno." Alex couldn't come up with anything else to say. He thought of the burden of guilt he'd carried all these years about Jason, how even though he knew it was a decision his brother had made, that maybe, just maybe, if Alex had been a better friend to him, been more attentive, more aware, that maybe…

Like Juno, he could never finish that sentence either. Because there was always a 'maybe not' in there somewhere.

"I know," she said, shaking her head. "I know I couldn't have saved her. I think she was escaping just as much as I was. My father wasn't a nice man. He was downright scary, in fact. And the older I got, the meaner he got, probably because he knew he wouldn't be able to control me forever." She took a sip of her coffee. "I didn't want to leave Autumn Lake, Alex." She paused, pressed her lips together like she was trying to decide whether or not to admit something. "I was so scared that night. The next few weeks, months. Dad let it slip on the drive out of town that if whoever was after him caught up to us, we'd be worse than dead."

"I—I didn't know," he whispered, realizing after he said them that they were the exact same words she'd spoken about Jason.

She kept her eyes locked with his, but her hands were trembling. She was trying so hard to be brave. To be vulnerable and brave at the same time. They were two pitiful peas in a pod, weren't they? "I asked in my letters if you thought your parents might let me stay with you. In—in Jason's room while he was gone. So I could finish high school here."

The revelation of all that she'd just said hit him like a physical blow. He brought the heel of his palm to his chest, pressing it against the tightness that wrapped like a tension band around his ribcage. He was finding it hard to breathe. "You wanted to stay? With me?"

She simply nodded.

"I would have moved heaven and earth to make that happen, Juno." He gripped his coffee cup with both hands. "You have to know that."

For a moment, he wasn't sure she'd heard him, but then she nodded again, like she was still debating about whether she should believe him.

"I'm so sorry, Juno. For everything. For all of this. All this time. These misunderstandings between us. I wish I could go back and undo it all, start over." Now it was Alex who reached across the table, not quite touching her. "I would have answered your letters. I would have come for you. I would have chased you to the ends of the earth if I'd known you wanted to stay with me. I would have done anything to help you."

The scope of what they'd lost sat like a heavy raincloud between them. Juno stared at his hand where it sat only inches from hers, palm up. Then she met his eyes again.

"What happened last night, Alex?" Her voice was so quiet, he had to lean forward to make out her words. "Why did you show up here like that?" She graciously didn't say 'plastered' or 'stone-cold drunk,' almost like she was purposefully allowing him to maintain a modicum of dignity.

Alex's stomach clenched, and he let out a slow exhale. This was the part he didn't know how to explain. How did he tell her about the last fifteen years of his life? About Jason. About Lena. About Melissa. About the mess he'd made of everything.

"I didn't come here in that state, Juno. Drunk, I mean." If she wasn't going to say it, he would. It was part of his penance, after all. "I came here to talk, to clear the air between us, and to clear my conscience, I suppose." He sighed and withdrew his hand; she obviously wasn't ready for any physical contact between them.

"So where did the whiskey come from?"

Alex sighed again.

He needed to stop doing that. He sounded like a whiny baby. "I found it stashed under my truck seat from back when I was drinking. I intended to throw it away—" But that wasn't the truth, was it? Hadn't he been more than a little relieved at the thought of that bottle still being there? "Actually, I made the decision to believe the 'just one sip' lie." He said, holding up his index finger. "There's no such thing for an alcoholic."

Juno nodded solemnly. "But why? What happened? Is it just because you found out about the letters?"

Did that mean she believed him when he said he'd never gotten them?

He slowly shook his head. Thankfully, the room stayed where it was. "Learning about the letters gave me the courage to come, but the reason I came here was—is—because I want to fix this broken stuff between us." He gestured between them. "I can't stand it, Juno. I don't want you to hate me—"

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