Page 140 of Callan

A few seconds pass before he speaks.

“Carmen and I haven’t had sex since the night I jumped on your balcony wearing my Santa pants.”

Normally, this would be funny, but hearing him say that makes my eyebrows wiggle up.

“Yeah…” he says in response to my incredulous look.

I mull over his words.

I know what he’s saying. He’s trying to make me feel good, but still.He’d be out there, drinking the night away if I hadn’t run into him this evening.

My mood shifts and I suddenly feel bad that I’m here, and there is no turning back. My emotions are all over the place, their timing so damn off.

A few hours ago, I had no horse in this race––or so I thought.

A few hours ago, I believed I could spend the evening with him, go to his place, have sex, and walk away in the morning like nothing happened.

Fast forward to this moment, and I’m talking about condoms, his life before me, and me being jealous.

It makes no sense.

How are we supposed to have a one night stand and then forget about it when I’m so anxious?

His eyes hover over my face as he notices my worries.

He pushes his chair back and straightens out of his seat while I watch him, hypnotized.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared in my life.

I’m lifeless in my seat when he holds his hand out, waiting for mine.

With my hand in his grip, he speaks softly.

“Come to me.”

I rise from my seat and close the distance between us like he’s put a spell on me.

His arm loops around my waist while my eyes stay locked with his.His chest becomes my home for the next few seconds.

My face tilts up while his tips down.

“I can’t promise you much, Mackenzie,” he says, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. “What I can tell you, though, is that you are a good woman, and I’ll do everything in my power to protect you. I don’t want you to feel pain. Or to have your life destroyed because you know me. You don’t deserve that. I lead a very dangerous life…” he says and faintly smiles while taking the tip of my hair and tickling my lower lip. “And it happens that we like each other,” he goes on, his eyes coming to mine again, the strand of hair falling to my shoulder. “There’s not much we can do other than what I just said. I’ll build a wall around you and try to keep you safe. It might not work, and you might get scared.And it might not be worthwhile for you to get too close to me in the end. It’s a risk you need to take. That’s all I can say.”

He rests his hand on my shoulder while waiting for my reaction.

“I know all that,” I say, my voice barely flowing out.

He thinks about something before he talks again.

“I can take you home if you’d rather go back.”

That hurts and also tells me how torn I am.

“I don’t want to go home. But just so you know, I’m out of my comfort zone. I didn’t think we’d get to a point where I’d feel like I had no options.”

A faint smile stretches across his lips.

“You wanted to do it on your on terms, and I waited for you.”

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