Page 159 of Callan

The car is still there—it must be. I didn’t hear it move––andno other cars are outside.

The silence is more than telling.

Another thought sidles up to me.

What if he does none of that and simply checks his phone?

Or is he on the phone with someone else talking about regular stuff?

Like, I don’t know.

His car? His business?

The time his housekeeper needs to come back and tidy up his place?

For the most part, we didn’t make a mess. But even so… I can only imagine she is due to return.

Despite everything going through my mind, I don’t stop to glance over my shoulder.

It doesn’t matter what he does.

Or whether I’m right or wrong.

Or whether I’m projecting or not.

My heart is bleeding all over my chest as I walk to the entrance of my building, move up the stairs to my apartment, walk through the door, and make a beeline for the bathroom, where I shed my clothes and let all my emotions out in the form of warm tears of longing.

25

CALLAN

A tough,ruthless man can do a lot of things, yet this is not one of them.

I could put someone who’s wronged me six feet under.

I could burn down my enemy’s house.

I could do so many bad things.

Yet, seeing her go away, with her soul crumbling, is not something I can easily do.

The struggle is real.

In my short time with her, I learned two things.

She is genuine and loyal.

And she doesn’t deserve from me an empty promise or, worse, a silken lie. A false reality.

I can’t promise her anything at this point.

All I can do is make sure nothing bad happens to her.

Of all the people I have crossed paths with in my life, she is the one who least deserves bad things coming her way.

It’s unfortunate that she lives one floor down from Carmen.On the other hand, I would’ve never met her if it wasn’t for Carmen.

She paces herself as she walks down the street, and I don’t know what goes on through her mind, but I hope she feels what I feel.

---