Page 73 of Shattered Hate

“Who-who hurt you?” I whisper it barely audible, as if saying it louder might make the truth unbearable. The room feels heavy with unspoken words, and my heart pounds in my chest.

“You.” He spits the word out with a sharp bitterness that cuts through the silence. “You hurt me the most, Dax.” His gaze pierces through me as he throws my own words back at me, rising from my bed and moving for the door with a determined stride.

“It was always you,” I scream, my voice raw and desperate, as I rise to my feet. I refuse to let him shift all the blame onto me. “You don’t think I didn’t break every time I saw you two together?” I shout, my voice quivering with emotion. “Every smile, every touch you both shared, it felt like a dagger to my heart, shattering it into a million irreparable pieces. It was like drowning in a sea of unrequited love, each wave dragging me further under, suffocating me.” My chest tightens as I struggle to breathe through my confession. “But I couldn’t forget about you, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many times I told myself I hated you because it was easier than admitting I cared.” Tears spill freely down my cheeks, and my hands shake as I throw them up in frustration.

Tray stands by the door, frozen, his eyes softening as he listens. I point a trembling finger to my chest, my voice rising with urgency. “Me,” I manage to say, my voice cracking with the weight of the admission. “I loved you first.” A sob racks my body, nearly doubling me over. “I loved you first,” I repeat. “It was always you, and you don’t understand how it feels to know it was never me.”

“But it was.” His voice is a soft echo in the room. “No one could ever be you. It was always you, deep down, Dax. You became a ghost in my life, and I was haunted by you every fucking day.” Tears stream down his face as he looks at me one last time, hishand gripping the door handle. He pulls it open and steps out, leaving me behind with his confession hanging in the air. As the door closes, the sound of finality rolls through the room, and I’m left standing here, feeling the full weight of heartbreak descend upon me. My heart crumbles into tiny shards of glass scattering at my feet, a painful reminder of what it means to truly love and lose.

Chapter thirty-seven

Trayton

Kal hands me a beer and opens another for himself and Bray as they both sit beside me. I’ve just finished telling them everything. I couldn’t return to this room without talking to the two people who entered my life and stayed. It was tough for Brayden to hear about Bexley’s role in all of this, but he knew Daxton was hiding something. That’s when he mentioned seeing Daxton at the grave a while back. Kal, always the logical one, asked me to put myself in Daxton’s position and think about if it was him or Bray. Would I break their hearts by admitting the boy was mine first? Would I risk losing the only friend who, as Brayden put it, willingly walked into that web and stayed with me? Kal pointed out how young we all were too. We had to grow up quickly because that was just how it was for us. We were determined boys whose parents gave us freedom, and when Kal and I met Bray, we saw a lot we weren’t familiar with. Kal and I grew up with wealth, big houses, and cars, while Bray, Bex, and Daxton didn’t. So when we spent time at the trailer park, wewitnessed a lot of harsh realities, but we were still so young. I had a lot of emotions for such a young person, and I truly believe my mom influenced that. She always talked about her feelings and love. I was raised to think love was the most important thing in the world, and then I began to resent it because, in my view, love led to pain. People would come into your life, make you love them, and then leave. So would I have said anything if I were in Daxton’s place? No, I wouldn’t because Kal and Bray mean everything to me.

But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“Dax has been through so much more than any of us, Tray. You can’t hold it against him for holding onto any bit of goodness that crossed his path.”

“I know.” I exhale heavily. “I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that he was there the whole time.”

“I remember you talking about Lighthouse Boy.” Kal nods, then points at me, wide-eyed. “Oh my god.” He stares at me in shock. “You used to call him Quiet Boy.”

Brayden inhales sharply. “If that isn’t fate, then I don’t know what is.” I can’t help but smirk because they’re right. The fact that I still call Daxton Quiet Boy now and then, just like I used to—it feels strange and surreal. But I do see it as a sign that he may have left me once, but he’s really come back.

“I need to see him,” I snap, sitting up abruptly. “Now.”

“All right, all right,” Kal and Bray rise, gently pushing me back onto the bed. “We’ll head to the bar, and you text Daxton, ask him to come here. Cope mentioned he’s not doing well, so be gentle with him,” Kal advises, grabbing his coat. I reach for my phone and pull up his number. There’s so much I want to show, but right now, all I need is him. I need to see him, to hold him. I wish I could untangle the chaos in my mind, but I can’t. Words have never been my strong suit, especially when it comes to feelings. I remember during the interview when I askedhim what love meant, and his response. Maybe I can show him instead.

Me:

Dax, I think the world’s ending.

Ten minutes later, there’s a knock at my door. I take a deep breath before opening it, and there’s Daxton, looking utterly shattered. “You came.”

“You said the world’s ending,” he whispers. I step aside to let him in, and as soon as the door closes, I pull him into my arms and hold him so tightly.

“You came back to me.” I lean my forehead against his. “You left, but you came back.” I breathe him in.

“I never truly left, Tray.” I cradle Daxton’s face, bringing our lips close, and press mine gently against his. He clutches my arms tightly, as if afraid I’ll vanish if he lets go. “I’m here,” I murmur, planting soft kisses along his cheek. Tears stream from his eyes as his smile shines brightly at me, and I tenderly brush them away with my lips.Five.

“I love you, Tray.” His words pierce straight to my heart, igniting a burning throb. I know what I feel for him is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. But love’s always been a puzzle to me. It’s not something I’ve ever worked out. Instead of speaking, I express my emotions through actions. My lips meet his, delicately parting his mouth as my tongue explores, drawing a deep sigh from him, his shoulders relaxing. His fingers weave through my hair, performing that soothing motion I adore, raking gently across my scalp. Our tongues dance together, and I entwine mine with his, communicating through this embrace what my voice cannot. The kiss tells him what he means to me.

“I need you,” I murmur against his lips while I guide him back to the bed. When we reach it, I spin around so that I fall backward, with Daxton straddling me. He pushes into me, andI lift to meet him. I can’t get enough of him, of his body against mine, and I hate that it took us so long to get here. But now we’re here, and I’m never letting go—I’ll never let him leave my life again.Daxton grips my top, pulling it off as I do the same to him. Our bodies merge, and I trace my hands over his skin, over his tattoos and the nipple piercings I shouldn’t have overlooked. The moment my fingertips brush them, he gasps—I know he loves it. I let my thumbs caress his nipples as I savor the soft sounds that escape him, our mouths colliding more desperately with every kiss.“How do you want me, Tray?” He pants.

“I want you inside me, Dax,” I reply, running my hands through his hair as he looks down at me.

“Really?” His eyes light up as they flicker between mine. A smile spreading broadly on his face.Six.

“Really,” I confirm with a smile, letting my hands wander over his scalp. “I want you in every way, including inside me.” Daxton grins as he showers my cheeks and jaw with soft kisses that trail down my body, leaving goose bumps in their wake.Seven.Every kiss makes me tremble until his warm lips finally wrap around my hard cock. I sink back into the pillow, lost in the sensation of his wet, inviting mouth. After taking me completely, he resumes his kisses, now moving down to plant them gently on my balls. With firm hands holding my thighs, he lifts them to open me up, draping my legs over his shoulders as he leans forward. He parts me slowly, taking his time to press soft kisses along my skin, sending shivers down my spine with his delicate, tender touch.

He starts by licking me tentatively, then more boldly, until the overwhelming pleasure makes my legs lock up. I push against his tongue, urging him on. “Fuck, Dax, that feels so good.” I breathe, my words spurring him on as he moves from my balls back up to my opening, repeating his motions until I tremble uncontrollably. “Shit… shit… shit,” I murmur. “Dax, fuck, I need you inside me.” I moan, desperate to feel every part of him.Suddenly, he sits up, his eyes wide with passion as they lock onto my face and my whole body.

“Fuck, Tray. I want to eat you from the outside in, and I don’t think that would even be enough,” he says, his fingers teasing around my hole. “Lube?” he asks.

“Top drawer,” I reply. In a rush, Daxton opens the top drawer, grabs a bottle, and quickly squeezes some onto his finger. All I can think about is his cock inside me, not his fingers. “Please, Dax. I need you, not your fingers.” His eyes meet mine, burning with desire as he clenches his jaw.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he reassures me before gently pushing a finger inside.

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