Page 69 of One Last Run

"I said that Lepus was my favorite because it was near yours, but what I really liked about it was that the dog was chasing the hare. I used to think you'd follow me anywhere.” Another blush of shame accompanied Danica's whispered words.

Pete’s expression went feather-soft. “Iwouldfollow you anywhere, Danica.” A whispered promise.

“You’re just saying that. You’re not serious.” Danica wiped hastily at her eyes.

Pete’s lips brushed over her temple. “I think we could get it right this time. I want a future with you, I want… Wait, why are you crying so hard?”

This time, the tears actually happened, coming suddenly, like she was a fizzing drink that had finally spilled over. "Don't worry, it's just the gummies. I’m totally, totally fine." A terriblelie. She was just too overwhelmed to talk about such a scary thing. She couldn’t even fathom the future right now without crying harder.

“We can talk about this more tomorrow.” Pete took Danica in her arms, moving the laptop off to the side of the bed. "Let's get some sleep, huh?" she said in the gentle voice people used for upset children.

"Okay," Danica said through snot and sniffles and tears. Suddenly, she was deathly-parched. She reached for her water, taking a few gulps, then settled back down against Pete. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I've always been such a mess."

"You're one of the least messy people I've ever met," Pete said with a chuckle, resting her cheek on Danica's head. "Take a deep breath. I’m here. I’m with you."

Danica did as she was told, clutching Pete as she drifted off to sleep.

She awokein the early dawn hours, starving and thirsty. Her phone said it was only 5 a.m. but she was wide awake. Pete had stayed beside her all night and slept in her clothes. The thought made Danica smile with tenderness as she gazed at the woman in her bed.

In the cold reality of morning, a heavy weight settled in her stomach. The words Pete had said the night before, the future she wanted — it wasn’t real. Pete had always lived in an idealistic world where love was enough, but Danica was stuck firmly in reality.

Pete deserved someone who could adventure with her. Someone who could drop everything and fly off into the night at a moment’s notice. Someone who she’d be excited to follow. They were too different. Pete would grow to resent her eventually.

Pete’s words last night had sent her reeling. She hadn’t been in the right headspace to understand exactly what Pete had been saying the night before, but she sure was now. Pete wanted a future that Danica couldn’t give her.

Danica had spent the past few days trying to imagine what a future with Pete might look like, but she couldn't picture herself fitting into Pete’s life or Pete fitting into hers. They had chemistry and a genuine connection, but was that enough?

She didn’t expect that after spending time with Pete again, enjoying her company, feeling old familiar comfort and sparks would lead to this. She had thought that she could have a fun fling that might help her feel confident and happy and distracted. Instead, a tender, vulnerable emotion had crept up over the past few days, settling in with confidence the night before. An emotion that terrified her more than anything. A feeling she was too scared to let take root.

Kiera had already left her so raw and hurting. She couldn't risk that kind of loss again. Not from Pete. It would hurt far worse.

Pete slept deeply as Danica silently gathered her belongings and slipped from the room. She carried her suitcase to avoid the sound of the wheels on the hardwood, and noted the rich, nutty scent of brewed coffee. The sight of Izzy at the island, enjoying coffee and a magazine, sent her pulse soaring with anxiety. She'd been hoping to make a clean getaway.

Izzy glanced up to where Danica awkwardly clutched her suitcase in her arms. "Are you leaving?" she asked quietly, her tone falling somewhere between curiosity and understanding. Far nicer than Danica felt she deserved.

"Yeah, it's a long drive," Danica said awkwardly.

"Pete still asleep?" Maggie asked from behind her, and this time Danica nearly dropped her suitcase.

She nodded, feeling the familiar warmth of shame in her cheeks. "Yeah. Sorry, I just..." She didn’t know what to say. That she was a coward? That she was panicking about what Pete had said the night before?

"What a week, huh?" Maggie said with a gentle smile, making Danica put her suitcase down for a hug.

Danica let out an exhausted laugh. "What a fucking week."

"Here, I'll help you carry that out to your car," Izzy said, appearing beside her and lifting her suitcase.

"Oh, you don’t have to — thank you," Danica stammered in surprise.

"Let me know when you make it home," Maggie said, watching Danica pull on her ski jacket.

Danica nodded, giving Maggie another hug. "You, too. Give Gwen and the kids a hug for me." She opened the front door and led Izzy to where her SUV was parked in the small parking lot. At least driving herself wouldn't make her as car sick as when she was a passenger. She planned to stop halfway in Grand Junction to grab a late breakfast or early lunch, and try to make it home by early afternoon.

How Kiera was getting home, she didn't know and didn't care at this moment. Not that she was any better than Kiera now, leaving Pete without saying goodbye. It was a different kind of leaving, but it was still the same. Easier than staying and seeing where it would lead. Easier than confronting the inevitable questions she had no answers for. No big fight in the quad to remember and analyze for years after. No regrets about missed moments. Just… leaving. She rubbed her temples as the ache in her chest deepened. Maybe this was the problem with always taking the "easy way out." They couldn’t hold on to just the good memories forever. They couldn't freeze time. They couldn’t keep pretending like everything would be fine when they knew it wouldn’t.

But this way, she thought, this way, at least they could focus on the good things, right? They could remember the sweet moments, the easy laughter, the way everything had felt lighter, simpler. The way it had been before she’d let herself get too close. Before she’d allowed herself to care. Because once she cared, once she felt it all, the exit was never easy. It never would be.

She hit the remote start to get her defroster going, then unlocked her trunk for Izzy to place the suitcase inside. She chucked the suitcase carelessly into the car, then turned to give Danica a serious look.

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