Page 109 of A Thieving Curse

“I’m all right, Rae.”

Dried blood caked the cut on his cheek and a bruise was forming under his eye. Raelyn sat next to him, guilt weighing on her soul. “No, you’re not. This is all my fault. All of it.” She slumped. “I can’t eat, anyway.”

He hesitated. “Fine.”

She fed him since Gareth couldn’t do much with his hands behind his back. Her guard finally noticed she had left and looked around in a panic, relief visible on his face when he spotted her. He came and stood nearby, but, thankfully, didn’t make her leave. Gareth finished off the meat, and she wiped the grease on her dress. She plucked a blade of grass and twirled it in her fingers, remembering her picnic with Lucas as a chasm opened in her chest.

“It’s not your fault, Rae,” Gareth whispered.

She tried to answer but choked on the words.Tristan wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t for me. If I hadn’t stalled so long with Alexander, they all would have been gone.Lucas would be alive. No one would be a prisoner. Alex would still be cursed, but he’d be able to fly. He wouldn’t be bleeding. He would be running, but he wouldn’t be a captive.

And Lucas would still be alive.

“He was my friend,” she said at last. “He was innocent and good.”

“But his sacrifice wasn’t for nothing,” Gareth offered.

She tossed away the blade of grass, feeling empty. “Alex would rather still be cursed than Lucas have died. It’s not fair.”

“I know.” Vehemence crept into her brother’s voice. “None of this is fair. And I know it doesn’t fix it or ease the hurt, but your friend Lucas accomplished several things with his death.”

Raelyn snapped her head up. How dare Gareth talk about Lucas’s death like some kind of accomplishment. Like it was useful.

“Before he died, before Alexander’s curse broke, Lucas showed us that Alexander wasn’t a monster. These men”—he motioned with his head toward the main cluster of Rethali warriors—“saw a vulnerable man crying over a friend. They saw someone with immense power surrender his advantage so he could hold a boy’s hand as he died, even though it left him an open and easy target. They saw you kneeling next to someone who had just been a dragon without fear. The archers could have shot him. The knights could have attacked. They didn’t because they respected his right to mourn. And they saw a young man who cared so deeply for a beast he willingly put himself in harm’s way, even though a dragon didn’t need a boy’s protection. Because of Lucas, Alexander became a human to us before his curse broke. That’s why I stopped Tristan.” He nudged her shoulder with his own. “That and I’ve always hated seeing you cry.”

“You’re right,” she said bitterly, “that doesn’t help the pain at all.”

Gareth sighed. “His sacrifice broke the curse. I didn’t know him, but from what I saw and heard—that would have pleased Lucas.”

It would have.She almost smiled. She could just hear him, prattling incessantly about howhebroke the curse and how Alex owed him, and would Alex become king? He’d probably ask if Alex would wear a crown or a diadem. She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to break loose again.But Lucas won’t even know what he did.

When Gareth spoke again, his voice was low. “He broke the curse, revealing Alexander’s identity. The older knights are saying he looks like his father. And he allowed Alexander to tell the truth. The men aren’t certain what to think, but they don’t like what they heard or the fact that their king is a liar at best and a murderer at worst. And they don’t approve of how Tristan is treating his cousin and a member of the royal family. They’re more split on how he’s treating you. Still, he’s losing his own men.”

Raelyn opened her eyes. Her guard’s head was angled toward them, but he noticed her looking and straightened, as if pretending he hadn’t been listening. Maybe Gareth had a point. Maybe Lucas’s sacrifice made him even more of a hero than he’d thought. But she couldn’t stop thinking that he shouldn’t have had to be a hero. He shouldn’t have had to die.Many things should have never been.

She hated this wretched world that cursed an innocent child and murdered a joyful boy on the cusp of manhood. That tore a young woman from her family and handed her to a man who thought he owned her. A world where a murderer occupied a throne while a bound king sat on the ground and blood dried on his back. She wanted to harden her heart and be cruel in return to this horrible world.

But then she thought of Meredith. Meredith, who said love was a choice. Meredith, who was kind even after leaving a comfortable life to raise her son in a cave and help a prince who scarred her arm.

Raelyn looked around for Meredith and found her sitting huddled with Peter and Jasper. Peter had his bound hands around his wife. Meredith’s head rested on his shoulder, her face turned away from Raelyn, but by the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders, Raelyn suspected she was asleep. Jasper sat on Peter’s other side, his down-turned face blank. Not angry. Not really anything.This isn’t his first loss,she remembered. Jasper also hadn’t become cruel when his wife was killed.They’re good people. Not everyone is selfish and unkind.

By Tristan’s orders, Alex had been moved away from the others. He laid on his side, far from the rest of the camp, curled into a ball. Like Gareth, a rope tied his hands to a stake hammered into the ground. Raelyn drew her knees up to her chin. Lucas was right. After years of choosing not to lash out in spite of all his suffering, Alex probably wouldn’t have killed Tristan. Because somehow, Alex hadn’t become vindictive, even though he easily could have.Because of them,she realized. Because Meredith and Jasper and Peter and Lucas showed him kindness, even when the world was heartless. They were so unlike Tristan and Henry.

The cruelty of one power-hungry man has caused so much pain.She leaned her head on Gareth’s shoulder.I’m not going to add more cruelty when that’s the last thing the world needs.

Eventually, the camp quieted. Gareth and Raelyn laid down next to each other, and soon Gareth was snoring quietly. She hadn’t known before this trip that he snored. She’d save that knowledge to tease him with when this nightmare was over.

The fires burned down to embers, but she couldn’t fall asleep. Every time she drifted off, she saw Lucas stumbling back—the arrow piercing his chest—

She jolted awake, her heart racing as she swallowed a scream. Gareth didn’t stir as she sat up and looked around. The guard sat nearby, his chin lolling against his chest as he dozed. The camp was still. As quietly as possible, Raelyn stood and snuck around the edge of the camp.

Alex’s guard rested against a small boulder near the tree line, his eyes closed. The grass rustled as she crept past him, and his eyes snapped open. She froze as the soldier looked at her, at Alex, and back. She took a tentative step backward, fighting another wave of nausea.Please, no.The guard nodded, then settled against the boulder and loudly snored. Tension rushed out of Raelyn. She crossed to Alex and knelt in front of him.

“Can’t sleep, either?” he whispered, lifting his head.

She shook her head. His face was drawn, his green eyes sad. He struggled to sit upright, groaning quietly. Her heart couldn’t take seeing him like this. “Alex, be still—”

“Help me sit up. Please.”

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