Page 95 of A Thieving Curse

“Oh.” He looked down as his face twisted with heartbreak that mirrored her own pain.

“I’m doing what I have to.” Raelyn poked the edge of her empty plate. “For my people.” Gareth’s look of betrayal haunted her. “Don’t ask me to abandon them.”Because if you keep asking, I might say yes.“I just don’t want anyone to die.”

“I see.” Alex’s eyes glowed brighter. A terrible rasping sound of rending wood filled the cave as his fingers curled against the table. Wood shavings spiraled away from his claws, leaving eight long grooves in the wood. Meredith opened her mouth like she wanted to tell him to stop. Instead, she looked away sadly.

“We’ll come back though, right?” Lucas asked. “What about the goats?” He looked so distraught at the thought of leaving the goats behind, Raelyn could have kissed his cheek.

“We’ll return when it’s safe,” Jasper said. “After dinner, we’ll gather supplies and prepare to leave.” He looked at Raelyn. “Where did they already search? Perhaps we can hide there.”

Raelyn traced a knot in the table with her finger. “Only Mount Liran.”

Peter and Jasper fell into discussion. Alex ate a couple bites of potatoes, then didn’t touch the rest. Raelyn managed to force down a piece of bread. The men told Alex their plan. He just grunted, then stood so abruptly he knocked over his chair and strode away toward the cave entrance. His tail thrashed as he disappeared from view.

Raelyn curled up in her chair. Lucas fidgeted, then tentatively reached out and touched her arm.

“Go after him.”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me,” Raelyn whispered.

“Oh, Raelyn,” Meredith said softly. “He does. He’s just hurting.”

And I’m not?But Raelyn took a candle from the table and headed outside.

She found Alexander in the clearing outside. He stood still as a tree, not even his tail twitching. She stole toward him, afraid he might tell her to leave, but when she reached him, his eyes were closed as he breathed slowly, purposefully. She stood next to him, watching the afternoon light on the trees. His wings rustled. She turned toward him, and the pain in his eyes practically drowned her.

He paced away. “Do you have any idea how much it hurt to take you to the palace? I thought my heart would tear open. I’ve hardly slept since, between worrying if you were all right and fighting sorrow and anger.” He turned back. “And then you were back. I’d lost you forever, and then there you were, in my arms, and I thought you came back for me.”

“Alex—”

“It’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have assumed.” He paced back and forth. “And now I’ll lose you all over again. I don’t know if I can do it. Do you know what I want to do?” He walked toward her until he stood so close he could have leaned down and kissed her. “I want to pick you up and fly you far away from here.”

His eyes shone, and a wisp of smoke wafted from his nose. He growled, but it didn’t scare her. Alex would never hurt her.

“I want to take you where you’ll never be able to marry Tristan. I want to hide you away where no one will ever find us, and you can stay with me forever.” He reached toward her, then dropped his hands. “But you don’t want that.”

No.I do.“I told you,” she said gently. “This isn’t about what either of us wants. You’ll go, so you can live, and Meredith and Peter and Jasper and Lucas can live.” Alex flinched. “So they don’t have to mourn you, and they can be safe.”

“And you’ll marry a man who would kill me if he could,” he snarled.

Raelyn hung her head. “Yes. So everyone can live. My brother. The men who would have to fight in a war. The women and children who would starve when their fields are burned.”

“It shouldn’t be all on you to stop a war.”

She looked up. “There are a great many things that shouldn’t be. Being angry won’t change it or make it easier.” She took his hand. “You taught me that. And Meredith and the others. You’ve gone so long without becoming bitter.” It was one of the things she loved him for the most. “Don’t start now.”

The light in Alex’s eyes faded out. He wove his fingers between hers. “So.” He forced a tight smile, a little of his old teasing creeping in that made him look less tired. “What did you think of my little childhood home? How does the Rethali palace compare to Eynlae’s?”

She snorted, grateful for a light-hearted distraction. “Little? It makes my father’s castle look like a secondary summer home. Two walls? And there’s no way that palace actually has that many fireplaces. It’s far more intimidating than you are. And more red.”

He laughed, and the sound eased her tension.There’s my Alexander.

“It is a bit much, isn’t it?” His grin faltered. “And… Tristan? What’s he like now? Handsome?” His fangs flashed in the sunlight as he growled.

A pang shot through her. “Alex, don’t.”

“Tailless, at least.”

“Stop—”