Page 51 of Ties of Frost

“How many wyveri die doing this?” he demanded.

“Death is rare, although severe injuries aren’t uncommon. Many clans and families are doing away with the practice, but not my mother.” I chewed on my lower lip. “She was so proud of how young I learned to shift, how well I did on my first flight, how powerful my di’yar is. Sheused to say my dragon fire burns hotter than average.”

“Used to?” Kyrundar moved to sit in front of me, watching me intently. “Why did she stop?”

My head drooped forward as I avoided his gaze. “I didn’t have her control. Her patience. My prodigy in shifting became a liability, as I shifted too quickly, too frequently, and with too much energy in my di’yar. I had to work hard to develop the icy control a wyveri matriarch is supposed to have.”

His snort interrupted me, and I snapped my head back up to scowl at him.

“Sorry.” Kyrundar’s lips twitched. “It’s just…I once complained to Syl that I might be an ice elf, but you are an ice queen. All cold control and condescension.”

I stared straight ahead at the packed snow wall. “I am what a wyveri must be. Unfortunately, I never became what a clan matriarch must be.”

“Which is?”

“Hospitable, gracious, both respected and liked. A humble yet confident leader who can spend all day sitting and listening and visiting people in their homes, who knows everyone in the village and remembers their names. Someone who can mediate a dispute with such equity and gentleness that the ruling is honored without damaging the matriarch’s relationship with either party. You’ve said it yourself: I’m not good with people.” I sighed. “I wasn’t meant to be a matriarch, and the entire village whispered about it.”

“So why did you choose the Order? I imagine there weremany other things you could have done.”

I lifted a shoulder. “Not really. I needed an option that took me away from the islands, and things like becoming a merchant, clerk, or priestess didn’t suit me. By the time I was fifty-two, my lack of direction was becoming embarrassing. So I joined a merchant’s caravan as a guard for a trip, as a trial. I told my mother it was temporary and that the experience would teach me skills that would help me be a better matriarch. That’s when I realized how many people on the mainland still hate and fear wyveri.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

What did he have to apologize for? He wasn’t responsible for the prejudices of other people. “It wasn’t all bad,” I added quickly. “It was also the first time I met Nakirosha.”

“Nakirosha Tulyerin? My cousin?”

I gaped at him. “Your what?”

“Well, my…fourth or fifth cousin or something on my mother’s side, and she’s three hundred years older than me, but yes.”

“All three of us have been at the same Haven together twice, and that didn’t come up?”

Kyrundar made a face. “Why would it? We’re all rengiri, and honestly, that’s a closer connection than distant cousins. And what about you? Neither of you mentioned knowing each other.”

“I don’t think she remembered me,” I admitted, hoping I wasn’t blushing. “She came to our caravan’s aid when we stumbled upon a nest of void-tainted rekaras. I was still so young, and it was dark, and we spoke only for a moment.But she was spectacular. She didn’t care that we were wyveri, only that we were people who needed help. She was confident and assured and knew her worth, her purpose. She was respected and admired. That was what I wanted. I dreamed that I could change people’s minds about wyveri—and about me.”

Kyrundar smiled. “So you applied to Harcos?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. When we returned home, I went to our village’s chapel to pray for guidance. The priest and priestess were out when I arrived, and I have no idea how long I’d been kneeling before the altar when they entered. The priestess seemed surprised, almost confused, and a little saddened. Then she told me she felt Iskyr had told her to give something to the next supplicant she saw kneeling before the altar. She handed me a sprig of blue harbell flowers. On the Wyveri Islands, harbells are given to bless a large change in someone’s life, particularly moving to a new place or a new role. That was when I applied, but I didn’t tell my parents until I received the letter inviting me to take the in-person tests. They discouraged me from going, and when I wrote to tell them I’d been accepted, I received a one-word reply: understood.”

“By the void.” He shook his head. “I decided I wanted to be a rengir when I was five. My parents thought I would grow out of it, but I never did. They were supportive when I applied and was accepted at Harcos, though, even if my mother cried about how little she would see me if I made it into the Order. She still complains about it every time I visit home. But then, she isn’t wrong. Those visitsarerare.Still, most parents are honored to have children among the rengiri, not disappointed or even opposed to it.”

“I suppose we’re special,” I quipped.

Kyrundar went still, and his ice-blue gaze locked with mine. “You certainly are,” he said, his voice oddly husky.

I swallowed hard. “Anyway. That’s why I need to do things on my own.”

Kyrundar’s jaw tightened, and his upper lip curled. “Forget your ridiculous mother and sister and your entire clan. They don’t know what they lost when they lost you, and you have nothing to prove to them. If they can’t see how amazing you are simply because Iskyr gave you a different calling than the one they envisioned, that’s their problem. As surely as he hung the stars in the night sky, Iskyr made you to be a rengir, Zidra.”

I didn’t consciously reach for the heartbond, but the complete confidence with which he said the words rushed through me. His emotions burned with the ferocity of defiance and a deeper, more tender passion that warmed me from the inside out. The part of me that usually whispered any affirmation was a lie, that either the speaker was secretly mocking me or I didn’t deserve their honest praise, was silenced by the strength of unwavering belief and deep affection I heard in his voice, saw in his eyes, and sensed in my soul through the bond. For a moment, I borrowed his confidence and let myself rest in the belief that I didn’t have anything to prove to anyone.

Maybe the heartbond—and Kyrundar himself—wasn’t so bad.

Twenty

Kyrundar

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