Page 19 of Mending Our Chance

10 Felicity

When the rosy fingered dawn illuminated the eastern sky, I disappeared to my apartment for a cold shower and a moment of peace. Being in the war room with Marcus all night had been both invigorating and heartbreaking. Every accidental touch, every heated glance—it had been one big dance around the underlying attraction between us. But I couldn’t make a move, not after the way I had behaved, and not with my uncertainties about getting close to that flame again. The smart thing to do was focus on the crisis.

Besides, Marcus was too distraught to focus on whatever chemistry was going on between us. He had staked everything on this company, only to find out that it was falling apart. The moment Mr. Stonewell had told us that we had been breached, I knew that I was committed. It wasn’t the betrayal per say, it was because at that time, I realized that I had been committed all along. No, that disaster was the moment I looked at the mess before me and declared my loyalties. It was high time I made a name for myself in the business world and I’d decided that my lot was now firmly tied with Marcus.

It was a dangerous declaration. Our personal connections were all mixed up with this new venture, and it was not something I was completely comfortable with, no matter how firm my resolution. How stupid can I be? I yelled at myself as I stood over my bathroom sink, wrapped in a towel. He could break my heart again. How can I just march in there and offer everything to him?

I glared back at my reflection. “This is where I make my stand. This business is going to be my mark on the world. Besides, I want him, and this time I could have him. There is nothing standing in our way.”

Just because he’s free from the military doesn’t guarantee he’ll fall in love with me and give me what I want. This gesture might not be enough. He might not fall in love with me for this. The thought stopped me cold.

“That isn’t what this is about. I’m not doing this for him! This is about my professional reputation. Marcus just happens to be the man pulling the other side of the cart,” I bristled at myself. My inner mind had taken on the persona of Auntie Gi. It might have been right, but still, I was a grown woman capable of doing what I wished. “This time, if I let our personal relationship grow, I’ll tell him what I need from him before we fall into bed together. If he can’t give me what I need, then I’ll stop myself from taking the next step—I have to.”

He was a good business partner, even my critical side had to admit that. And man alive there was fire between us. I had felt it at dinner, although the flames had been doused by our crushing news. I was done shutting him out, but I didn’t know how far I wanted to let him in. He would need to be interested in more than just sex this time.

In California, I had been the one to manipulate him. I had had unrealistic expectations of us. And first, I hadn’t told him what they were, and second, because he had stayed firm on his position, I had gotten all pissed and angry at him because of it.

“I’m a real bitch.” I shook my head at my reflection. “Marcus had never lied to me, or led me along to make me believe there was ever going to be more between us,” I reminded myself. “But I won’t let what has happened in the past change my decision to hook myself to his star. I rise or fall with him.” That was my final position on the subject.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, I grabbed my phone and typed a note to myself about something I wanted to ask the contract lawyer later on this morning. I was a multi-tasker to the core. As I flipped through my apps, I saw a notification in the voicemail box. Auntie Gi had called me last night, a lot later than she normally would. I had been so preoccupied that I must have swiped the top-bar notification away. Panic immediately bubbled in my chest. I tapped the voicemail icon.

“Felicity, your brothers came over,” Auntie Gi’s message began, and my heart sank in relief.“You gave them the address to my place! I can’t believe you are speaking with them after what they did to you! And then you sent them here! They are ruthless and cruel—I thought you knew that.”

I had heard enough. I deleted the voicemail. All the scars on my heart burned at the memories, a reminder that I had been hurt by so much more than Marcus back then. My family had hurt me shortly after our break up. I grit my teeth and determinedly clamped a lid on those emotions. I was going to fight against all that damage starting now! These scars wouldn’t weigh me down any longer. If a damned phoenix could rise from the ashes, then I could too.

Yes, there was so much pain in the past and I needed to address it. I owed the revelation to Marcus, because I was watching him picking up the pieces, trying to work against the odds. My brothers were also willing. Yes, they had shortly cut me out just months after Marcus broke my heart, but they were following their filial obligations and I needed to stop blaming the one for the other.

“It wasn’t Marcus’ fault I broke from my family either,” I told the mirror. There was no contradiction from my rational mind. So, I continued to talk to myself—sleep deprivation would do that. “I can’t fathom why Gianna hates those boys. They weren’t the ones to cut me off, and I was the idiot who got married after only knowing Toby for three weeks.”

Yeah, my rebound skills were embarrassing. Heartbroken from the man I loved, I married a man who was the complete opposite after just a few weeks, then broke away from my family because they were right about my new husband being a gold digger, had my marriage annulled and then my ex died, all for me to wind up alone with a sickly aunt who was crotchety on her best days, and horrifically bitter on her worst. “I’m so fucked.” My reflection agreed.

That was the crux of it. I had spoken the truth to my reflection and it was time to pay the piper. Without hesitating on my promise, I called my Aunt, the time be damned.

When her garbled voice answered, I apologized for waking her so early and said that I had just received her voicemail, before asking what I really wanted to know. “How are you feeling?”

I kept my tone neutral, proud that the ice forming in my chest wasn’t obvious.

“I feel much better,” my aunt confirmed before launching into a diatribe against my older brothers.

I cut her off to talk about her health with carefully probing questions.

“Yes, yes, my condition is stable with rising numbers,” she snapped irritably, no doubt annoyed that I’d interrupted her tirade.

“Good.” I then brought the point of the call to her attention. “I just wanted to let you know that I never gave the twins your address. They already knew where to find you. I merely said they could talk to you instead of using me as the go-between. I’m done being the conduit for anyone else’s problems.”

“Does that mean you’ve ended your work with that Bowers boy?”

I hesitated. There was no point lying. “No. In fact, I’m getting into business with him.”

Auntie Gianna sucked in a breath. When she spoke, her voice was low and laced with menace. “You owe him no loyalty. Remember last time you gave him everything? You foolishly thought he would give you what you wanted in return. He didn’t. Remember that you don’t buy the cow when the milk is free.”

“Enough,” I snapped. “I was young and naïve. Quit rubbing it in my face—and as a matter of fact, quit bad-mouthing those who didn’t do anything. Your quarrel is with your brother. Likewise, my battle is with Father as well. The twins might have stayed loyal to him, but don’t project our problems onto them.”

I took a deep breath and reminded myself to pull it together. She was weak, after all. I wanted to give her grace, since her illness was so painful and taxing. But still, my brothers were not their father and they had been truly worried about their aunt. I told Gianna just that, and she grunted a goodbye.

Our conversation made me even more resolved to help Marcus. I dropped the towel, sneaking an approving glance at my lithe, albeit petite body in the mirror, before scampering into the bedroom to dress. My body was ablaze with desire for my southern Adonis, but I was determined to keep my hands off the man for the time being. Too much needed to be sorted out before I would consider sleeping with him. But that decision didn’t stop my body from wanting him. I knew it would be hard to reign in the physical attraction that was raging through every inch of me.

After pulling my wet hair back into a low chignon and applying a minimal amount of make-up, I left the apartment with a smile on my lips as I daydreamed of the future.

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