Page 65 of Silent Heart

Dropping my gaze, I shrugged. "I'm trying to enjoy the present. Is that so wrong?"

"I suppose not. But why didn't you tell me? Huh? You let me think the worst of him."

"I want you to know him, but things are...complicated."

“Well, let's talk some more, kay?" Grandma patted my cheek. "Come back and bake with me. Oh! And don't neglect poor Lilac. She’s been down about the mouth lately.”

As she turned to leave, I closed my eyes. A wave of pain passed over me. She couldn’t fix it—no one could. The door clicked in place, and I hung my head.

She cannot ruin my happy dreams. I won’t let her!

But those words were easier thought than done. There was no place for Kole and me in the future. The sooner I came to terms with that, the better. That was the problem with castles in the sky. They were better than reality.

Chapter 24 – Kolya

Everything changed in the course of the last hour. Taking a rare evening off to fish and cook what we’d caught, Harley fell asleep on the couch shortly after teaching me to clean and fry the pan fish. Not wanting to disturb her, I tucked her feet against my side and clicked around my laptop. The news that greeted me was nothing short of miraculous.

And left me with a decision I dreaded to make.

Enough power players in the trafficking rings were captured that it was highly unlikely I was on their radar. The authorities had stepped in—finally—conducting a raid. Now was the time to sneak back into the fray, while their ranks suffered from the calculated blow.

The wonderful news shimmered on the page. Names that were on my list to cross out were marked as deceased or captured. I could sneak back to the hunt, and while they would eventually know I’d returned, they wouldn’t have the resources to chase my military history through Chicago. Especially if I took the remaining key players out quickly enough.

My exile was over.

Dark light from the screen bathed Harley’s pretty pink toes, making the floral color look a deeper shade that was closer to blood. What I’d been waiting so long for, the news that returning to the field was possible, stared back at me.

And Harley…she snoozed beside me.

“I don’t have to make a decision now,” I whispered.

But already, I knew what I had to do. While this woman was incredibly important, she would never be my future.

How could I live with myself, knowing that there was evil out there and I wasn’t stopping it?

Pursuing my calling and keeping Harley weren’t options that could coexist.

A crack opened my chest.

Deep, agonizing pain leeched out. My heartbeat doubled, and my breathing turned ragged. The end of summer was coming sooner than the calendar showed.

The laptop closed a little too forcefully. Harley stirred, but after a moment, she rolled onto her back, snuggling deeper into the sofa cushions. I set the device on the coffee table before standing and moving to her side.

So peaceful.

Saints! If I could only stay with her!Build a life that wasn’t full of war and bloodshed.

But…I couldn’t abandon my work in the Southwest, neither could I take up hunting here in the Midwest. No, the risk was too great that someone from the underworld would connect the dots, trace me to the bratva, and put a target on my family. How much greater was that risk now? At least my brothers-in-arms were fighters, used to surviving in the twisted games on the streets. But Harley? Her family? This tiny little farming community that supplemented its income with heavy tourism wouldn’t be able to fight off an organized operation.

No, if I continued to hunt, a relationship wasn’t possible. That vile filth would never come and touch my woman.

“Mine,” I whispered.

Pain throbbed in my muscles. How did I walk away from something that was all mine? Something good, something pure, had found a way into the bleak existence of my reality. She’d broken through the darkness, gifting me with a blessed moment of respite.

But monsters like me didn’t have happily-ever-afters.

Being with her was a dream, the sweetest of escapes.

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