Page 43 of The Things That Hold Us

“Look at us. You would think this is our first time doing this.”

“It might not be our first time but that doesn't make it any easier.” I say, sniffling.

“I’m going to miss you, sweetie.”

“Maybe you should. Look into moving here.” I throw out.

“Maybe I will.” she says as she pulls me in for a hug.

They announce last boarding call over the speakers, and my mom grabs her bags, giving me one last hug.

“It gets easier, sweetie. I know it all feels hard right now, but just hang in there.”

Before I can get too choked up, I let go of her, and hand her her suitcase.

“Thanks, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”

I take the taxi back home. Not feeling like opening the shop today, and instead order in take out and make myself a burrow on my couch made out of blankets and pillows.

This is where I’ll stay today.

After yesterday, and having to tell my mom goodbye, I do not feel like being social.

I flip through the channels, landing on something I can mainly have as background noise.

Something I don't have to focus too much on.

Yesterday was emotional.

Today was emotional.

My entire life just seems to be a big emotional pit that I can't climb out of.

I pull my phone out, and see there’s a text from Cassie.

Garrett said he had a lot of fun last night, and thanks for having him. Wish we saw more of you though!- Cassie

I set my phone down. I feel kind of bad for secluding myself last night, and in all honesty I didn't plan on all those emotions hitting me, and I didn't plan on telling Logan about Sam. But here we are.

And he was so nice about it all too. Most men get upset when they get friend zoned, but he seemed genuinely ok with it. Like he really is fine with just being my friend.

I mean, I don’t know why I assumed he wanted more, but when I brought it up he didn't deny anything.

I try to focus on the tv, but I just can't quiet my mind. I check the time, and it's only been two hours since mom left, and she still has another two before she lands.

Maybe I should've just gone into the store for a little bit.

I look around my apartment. It just looks sad. There’s no sound, besides my tv and me breathing. It’s kind of depressing.

Right before I turn the tv off, there's a commercial for a pet food subscription.

I pause, remote mid air, and watch the tv.

I’ve never been one to ignore my impulsive decisions, so before I can stop myself I’m throwing tennis shoes on, and heading out the door.

To the animal shelter.

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