Page 61 of The Things That Hold Us

Our eyes meet, and I see his shining with wetness.

“Come on, I think you need a drink.” I suggest, and he chuckles.

“Yeah, you're probably right. It’s late though, don't you want to get some sleep?”

“Eh. I’m not that tired.” which isn't completely a lie. Iamtired, but I’m enjoying his company too much after the day we’ve had.

Something about being in his presence soothes my chaotic mind.

A couple beers later, and the tension of the day has slipped away. For the most part.

We’re actually laughing, and talking, and having a nice time.

I’m laying on my couch, he’s sitting on the floor at the coffee table playing with a coaster.

Without looking at me, he says, “Tell me about Sam.”

I roll onto my side, looking at him. His cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and his hair is tied up in a messy bun that makes mine look disgraceful.

“What do you wanna know?” I ask him, my words a little more than a whisper..

“Everything. What did he look like, what did he do. I wanna hear about the man who was lucky enough to hold your heart.”

I giggle, “That’s mighty poetic of you.”

He watches me intently, “I’m serious. He must've been amazing if he won you over.”

Suddenly the moment doesnt feel so serious.

Not with how he’s looking at me.

Not with the words he’s saying, and the beer coursing through my system.

“He was.” I whisper after a moment. “Amazing. He was my prince charming. My knight in shining armor.” I pause, remembering his face.

“Sam was so handsome, too. His hair was a light sandy brown, and was just long enough for me to run my fingers through it. He could grow facial hair, but always kept his face clean shaved because I would always complain about how scratchy it felt when he’d nuzzle my neck.” I blink away the tears, my fingers finding that spot on my neck.

“He wore round glasses that made him look super nerdy, but I loved them so much. And he would read to me. Poetry. Literature. Anything he could get his hands on, he’d read. AndI would sit there for hours listening," I sniffle and wipe at my eyes, “just because I loved the sound of those words on his voice.”

“What did he do?” Logan asks me.

“Everything. He was always finding a new job or new hobby he wanted to do. One day he was a writer, the next an artist. Then he finally decided he wanted to teach. He never decided on what though..he never got the chance.”

I lean over to grab my drink, taking a sip, and wiping my face.

“He sounds incredible.” Logan says, taking a sip of his own drink.

“He was.” I whisper looking up at the ceiling with trembling lips.

He reaches over, and puts a hand on mine, “I’m sorry, for making you talk about him. I just had to know.”

I look back at him, shaking my head and say, “No, it's ok. Really. I just haven't spoken about him in..too long. It feels good.”

“Well, you can tell me about him anytime you want. I’ll be here with open ears.”

“Really?”

He nods, “Absolutely. I want to know everything you love, and everything you got the chance to love.”

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