Page 97 of The Things That Hold Us

“Everything. You. The movie, the snacks and food. It's all too..”

“Too what? Too good?”

“Yes!” I sob, grabbing my chest because it physically hurts to breathe now.

I squat down, trying to slow my breathing.

Logan rushes over to me, and pulls me into his arms.

“Charlie, you have to let me in. You have to tell me what's happening here.”

“I’mfeelingthings, Logan.'' I say, and my heart hurts so much.

He watches me for a second, then runs his hands through his hair.

“Is this such a bad thing?” he asks me finally, and I look up to meet his eyes.

“What?” I ask him, because I’m not sure what he means.

He looks around at everything he set up.

“This…you and me. Is it so bad to be feeling something for me? Because, correct me if I’m wrong, but there's somethingundeniable between us and it's getting really hard to keep myself from you, Charlie. If you would just give me a chance.”

More tears stream down my face, because that's exactly what's happening here.

My heart wants him, and my head is pushing him away.

“Just let me in, Charlie. Let me in, and I promise you I’ll never leave.” a sob escapes me as he holds my face.

Sam's face flashes in my head. He promised me the same thing, but life had other plans.

“That's not something you can promise, Logan. Life doesn't work like that. How do I know you wouldn't get taken from me too?”

I watch a tear slide down his face, and the sight of that breaks me even more.

“As long as I am on this earth, and able to, I will be here. I won't leave you, Charlie.”

I shake my head. I don't even know what at anymore.

None of this is fair.

“This isn't fair.” I whisper, my voice cracking.

“What isn't fair?” he asks.

“This isn't fair, to him, to you,” I pause, looking down at my hands.

“How am I supposed to give you my heart, when part of it died with him?” I cry, my breaths coming in sobs now.

Logan grabs my face in his hands, a tear sliding down his cheek.

“You give me what's left, and let me love that.”

Another sob escapes me and I lean into him. He holds me, and lets me cry.

“I can't replace Sam, or even come close to giving you what you had with him, but if you let me in, I promise I won't leave you. As long as I have a say in it, I won't go anywhere unless you ask me to.”

His hands are in my hair, his eyes searching mine for an answer.

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