Page 4 of The Things That Hold Us

No. I hate cats. A dog, maybe? No. Dogs are too loud.

It's just too quiet in here. I can literally hear myself chewing and it's stressing me out. I grab the remote, turn the TV on and click until I find a romcom.

Alright, this is helping a little bit. I don't know why it’s bothering me so much tonight that I’m by myself? Maybe it’s because my mom made a comment about it? Or maybe it’s because that mountain man actually stirred up some sort of feelings inside of me?

I’m assuming it was just sexual feelings though. It's been a really long time since I’ve done anything intimate with someone, so it’s the only thing that makes sense.

And it's not that I haven't tried to meet someone. I have- It’s just that I haven’t met anyone that felt right.

I watch as the best friends have their first kiss and fall deeper in love with each other. Well great, now I feel even worse about being alone.

I’m just going to finish my dinner, finish this extremely cheesy movie, and call it a night.

At 7:00 p.m.

When did this become my life?

My alarm goes off at 6 a.m sharp, making me groan as I hit snooze.

Tuesday mornings are when I typically get most of my pieces brought in, so I try to wake up and get to the shop earlier than usual.

I take a quick shower, blow-dry and curl my long chestnut hair, but don’t bother putting any makeup on. I mostly stopped wearing makeup when I hit 28, and now that I’m about to be 30 in two weeks, I’m glad that I did. My skin has never been clearer.

I quickly throw on my favorite high waisted jeans, my usual sneakers, and a comfy, oversized graphic t-shirt, then clip half of my hair up.

I grab one of my pre-made shakes out of the fridge for a quick breakfast, and head out the door. I’ve never been good at cooking, so Cassie started making me these shakes on the weekends so that way I have breakfast during the week.

Leaving early also gives me time to hit the coffee shop on the way and grab my iced coffee for the morning.

The bell above the door of the coffee shop dings as I walk in and I spot Cassie from across the room.

“You're even earlier than last Tuesday.” she jokes.

“Yeah well, I went to bed abnormally early, which caused me to actually wake up with my alarm.” I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Uh oh. I know that tone.” She starts. “Everything ok?”

I roll my eyes at her, but laugh. “Yes, everything is fine. I was just bored and didn’t have anything else to do, so figured I’d call it an early night.”

She eyes me cautiously, “That sounds…fun?”

“Loads.” I say.

“I swear sometimes you remind me of my grandma.”

I roll my eyes, “I’ve met your grandma, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“What drink are we trying today?” she asks me.

“Ha ha. Very funny. You know I always get the same drink.”

“Well, how else would I know if today was the day you got out of your comfort zone and tried something new if I didn't ask?” she says with a devious smile on her face.

I just glare at her. She does this every time I come in. I’m not sure what's wrong with ordering the same drink every time. I just don't like to try new drinks. What if I order something new and get all the way to my shop, try it, and it's awful? Then I don't have my coffee for the day. No thanks.

“Iced blonde espresso with oat milk and brown sugar, coming right up.” she says after a minute, winking at me.

“Thank you. Can you add a muffin to my order, too? This shake isn't cutting it today.”

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