Page 64 of The Things That Hold Us

I roll my eyes, “We do. I like him. It’s complicated.”

It's not.

The simple fact is that when I’m around him, Ifeelthings.

Things that I haven't felt in over a year now.

“Ok, well do you have any other ideas?”

“No. Maybe I'll just pay the taxi.” I tell her, even though I know that’s not a feasible option.

“Ok Charlie, what's going on? I know you and there's something you're not telling me.”

Sometimes I forget that she can read me like an open book. I both love it and hate it.

“I like him, Cassie.”

“And?” she says.

I look at her, waiting for it to click.

“OH. Youlikehim? That’s so exciting!” she says, her voice becoming high pitched and squeaky.

“No, it's not. I can't like him.”

“And why not?”

“Sam?” I say, as if it’s an obvious reason.

“Babe, I love you, and I know this has been a touchy subject for a while, but Sam wouldn't want you to miss out on love because of him.”

I know she’s right, but to me, it just feels wrong; having feelings for someone who isn't him.

Someone I hardly even know.

“What is it that you like about him?” Cassie asks.

I think for a second, and the easy answer iseverything.

“I don’t know how to explain it, Cass. There's just…” I trail off, and Cassie fills in for me.

“A connection?”

I nod, “Yes. And I don’t know how to navigate this. When I’m with him, it's like there's an electrical current between us that I canfeel. I haven't experienced that with anyone but Sam. And to me, that feels wrong.”

I watch as Cassie processes my words, thinking about how to reply.

“Char, no one but you can tell you when the timing is right to date someone. I could tell, you're ready, and it's time, but it won't make a difference unless you feel like you are ready.” she pauses, “Let him take you, so you can look at this store before someone else gets it, and just relax. Don’t think about any of this. Just go, have a nice time, and try not to worry about thisconnectionyou have with him.”

Again, I know she’s right, so I just nod in agreement.

“Ok. I have to ask him first though. He might not even want to take me.”

“A road trip? I’m down.” Logan says extremely enthusiastically. “When do we leave?”

I sent Logan a text to meet me at the café, and he was there almost immediately.

“Oh, um, I’m actually not sure about that, I’ll text Cassie though and see.”

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