“Shopping?” I asked incredulously. “I just need you to take me to my place to get my things,” I told him. I didn’t want him spending a dime on anything. I had clothes at the apartment Vin had housed me in. Since I was now gone and Vin was dead, I doubted anyone was guarding it, waiting on me to come home.
Tristan shook his head at me. “I’m not taking you anywhere near Vin’s territory, Addy. It’s too fucking dangerous considering I just potentially started a war by shooting him yesterday. So, we’re going shopping.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled, not in the mood to argue with him further. I was still tired, my body still begging for rest.
“In the meantime, ask Zyla if she’s got something you can wear. You two should be about the same size.”
I only closed my eyes as I turned away from him.
I needed out. Needed freedom.
Eyes burned into the side of my head, and when I turned, my eyes locked with River’s again. And we stared at each other until my shoulders drooped a little, some of the tension bleeding from my shoulders.
As it turned out, Zyla and I were the exact same size since I had lost so much weight in the year that I had been gone. I hadn’t been properly fed, only allowed to eat when Vin allowed me to. He’d done everything in his power to tear me down and make me weak.
And he had accomplished it. Vin had ruined me.
I opened the door to Tristan’s room to find him buckling his belt, his shirt tossed on the bed. I swallowed thickly, my grip tightening on the door handle as my eyes trailed over him. I may not have wanted to be in a relationship with Tristan, but Icouldn’t deny that he still turned me on. He was well built, his muscles rippling with every move he made.
“You continue to fuck me with those pretty eyes, Addy baby, and we won’t be going shopping for a few more hours,” Tristan huskily warned me.
My eyes snapped up to his, and I subconsciously licked my lips. I wanted this, at least. I wanted a distraction. Something familiar.
And I was familiar with having sex.
With a muttered curse, Tristan walked over to me, his hand sliding into my hair as he tilted my head back, his lips sliding against my own. I moaned softly, my body curving into his as he closed the bedroom door, pushing me against it as he easily lifted me, his lips attacking mine. I wrapped my legs around his hips, my hands clutching at his shoulders as his tongue slid against mine, making my body shudder against his.
This. This was what I needed for at least a little while. There was nothing to sex. It didn’t require much thought, and there didn’t have to be emotions involved. It was nothing more than a transaction of mutual orgasms.
Tristan grabbed the bottom of the shirt I was wearing and tugged it over my head, tossing it to the floor. I whimpered as he ran his rough, calloused hands over my smooth skin.
He was distracting but not distracting enough. My mind kept flitting to other shit, burying me further in my internal torment.
Even though I was no longer in the mood, in very little time, my clothes were on the floor, and Tristan had me on my back on his bed. His hands ran over my body, and he kept teasing me bygoing so close to where I wanted his fingers the most and then retreating.
I released a frustrated sigh, and finally, he moved over me, his eyes meeting mine. He slowly slid into me, and I sucked in a sharp breath of air, arching my back off of the bed as my walls clutched at him, my body desperate for a release. A release that was all my own, of all my own control, even if my mind was no longer in this.
With a gentleness that Tristan had never really possessed when we were younger, he made love to me, bringing me over the edge over and over again, until exhaustion was weighing me down like a brick.
When Tristan left the room a little while later after I demanded space, surprisingly not fighting me on it, I rolled onto my side, burrowing beneath the blankets.
And I cried.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Adelaide
Tristan was sitting at his desk when I woke up, a pair of sweatpants riding low on his hips, his muscular, upper body bare. He had the club books spread out in front of him, obviously working on budgeting and paying bills that needed to be paid.
I stretched out my body, feeling that familiar soreness of being used, but at least this time, it had happened on my own terms. My movement drew Tristan’s eyes over to me. He smiled softly, and my throat closed up with more tears. Tristan’s smile no longer comforted me or made my heart swell like it used to. Now, it just made me feel trapped. “Sleep well?” he asked gently.
I nodded. “Extremely well,” I told him, meaning it. I hadn’t had any kind of decent sleep for a little over a year. Probably helped that I’d cried until I felt empty enough to sleep.
Tristan stood and moved over to me, sitting beside where I was lying. He brushed his fingertips over my cheek. My eyes slid closed as I reveled in his touch, wishing it still comforted me likeit used to. Tears burned at the backs of my eyes, but I forced them not to fall.
I would not cry for something lost.
“I have to leave for a couple of days,” he informed me. I opened my eyes to look at him again. “I’m leaving River here with you.”