Page 30 of Days Of Valentino

“Shhh, I’ve got you. I’m right here. You’re safe,” James whispers into my ear, his hand running through the length of my hair.

“I’m sorry.” I hiccup through my sobs. I hate this. I hate that after all this time, those monsters still have a hold on me. It’s as if I’m free but there are still chains around my ankle. And every time I make it so far out of the nightmare, I’m yanked right back in.

Two steps forward, one step back. The pattern just keeps repeating itself.

“Lola, you have nothing to be sorry about.” James holds me tighter.

There have been times over the years that I’ve questioned my husband’s sanity. He willingly stands by my side. His undying devotion to me can be unnerving, and there are instances where I don’t feel like I deserve his love. He could have had a normal life. A wife, children, a white picket fence. But he chose me and my demons.

“It’s just being back here.” I pull out of his arms and wipe at my face, trying to focus on my breathing.

“I know,” James tells me. “Say the word and we can leave. You don’t need to be here. You don’t have to put yourself through this. Your brother wouldn’t want you to.”

“He won’t know. I have to be here. Neo has always been there for me. I’m not going to flake out the one time he needs me.”

“Okay.” James kisses the top of my head. “I’m going to make tea.”

I watch as he walks out of the bedroom. I don’t believe in God, but if I did, I would put everything on James being one of his angels.

I pick up my phone, find my sister’s number, and press dial. It’s early, but I know she’ll be awake.

“Hey, Lola. You good?” Helena answers.

“I’m okay. Are you in the city yet?” I ask her.

“Yeah, I’m at Neo’s place. You?”

“We’re here. How is he?”

“He’s… in denial.” Helena sighs.

“Well, we’re all here to keep things real for him, right?” I say.

“Right. What time are you getting here? I can’t handle his old cranky ass on my own,” my sister groans.

“We’ll be there after breakfast. I’ll help with whatever I can. How’s Angelica?”

“She’s ready to put a bullet between our brother’s eyes.”

“He’s that bad?” I gasp.

“Terrible. He’s acting like he’s on his last breath. Angelica said he’s made arrangements for his funeral and written his own eulogy.”

“He’s turning seventy. It’s not like he’s about to go down anytime soon. Unless there’s something he’s not telling us?” I suggest.

“Nah, he’s just old and carrying on about how he’s not going to be around to protect us.”

James walks back into the room with a cup of tea in his hands.

“Helena, I gotta go. I’ll see you soon. Just remind Neo he has a granddaughter of dating age. That should snap him out of hisdeath’s doorfunk real quick.” I laugh.

“Will do. Love you, Lola. I’m really glad you’re here,” my sister says.

“Me too.” I press the red button to end the call and set the phone down. “Thank you.” I smile up at my husband as he passes me the cup.

“Your brother overreacting?”

“Helena says he’s acting like this party is his wake and not his birthday.” I giggle. I shouldn’t. I know Neo has serious concerns about when the time comes forthe devil to come knocking at his door. His words, not mine. I get it. He’s been taking care of everyone forever. He can’t help but want to make sure we’re all okay if something were to happen to him.

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