Page 176 of Daughter of No Worlds

Selfish. I had been so selfish. Because if Reshaye hurt him because of me— if it hurt him withmyhands—

I had managed only to give Max a distant, weak smile before launching myself into logistical preparations for the day. We gathered the camp in early morning, and even though they were terrified of me, I had to direct the people we had recovered. Zeryth and I were, after all, the only ones who spoke Thereni, and Zeryth’s accent was far worse than I’d remembered.

Halfway through this process, Max snatched me away in a brief quiet moment, pulling me behind one of the remaining tents. His hand remained on my arm, thumb swiping in the hint of a caress. He regarded me with a wrinkle of concern between his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Don’t patronize me.” The wrinkle deepened, and he hesitated before asking, “Is it— are you having doubts about—"

“No,” I said, quickly. “No, never.”

He looked visibly relieved, though only for a moment. “Then what?”

I didn’t say anything. The thought of tainting what had happened between us in his mind, too, made me feel even sicker than I already did. And worse was the thought that Reshaye might witness my confession somehow—

“Do I need to start guessing? I’ve always been bad at that, but— “

I swept my fingers over my mind once, twice, three times, checking for any activity before I lowered my voice and whispered, “Reshaye knows.”

Every muscle in Max’s face hardened at once. “What did it do?”

“Nothing. It— nothing.” Checked again. Nothing but darkness. “I will not let it do anything.”

I wish I believed that.

“None of us will,” Max said.

I wishhebelievedthat.

He slid his hands around my waist. I wanted nothing more than to sink into that warmth, retreat back to last night and never return to reality.

Instead, I could only barely make myself meet his eyes.

“Listen to me, Tisaanah. I mean that. We controlled it yesterday. We’ll control it again.You’llcontrol it again.”

I didn’t control it yesterday.

I was silent, leaving my uncertainty undignified.

His arms tightened around me, breath skimming my ear. “We walk in together, and we walk out together.”

He was trying to convince himself, I knew, his desperation merely masquerading as certainty. My chest ached. My hand slid up to his shoulder, and I could feel the raised texture of the scar I had given him through his shirt. Merely a scratch compared to what Icoulddo.

If Reshaye came after him using my hands, my body, would he let it happen?

“You made a promise to me last night,” I choked out. “I need you to keep it. Whatever that demands.”

And before he could say anything else, I yanked him towards me and gave him one long, hard kiss.

Then I pried myself away and returned to the preparations without another word.

* * *

The preparations were wellunder way and hours had passed — hours of torturous doubts — when Zeryth beckoned to me from across the camp. When we were out of earshot of the others, he informed me, far too casually, that he would be returning to Ara with the refugees.

My heart sank. “Why?” I asked, sharper than I had intended.

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