Page 9 of Daughter of No Worlds

He didn’t look at me.

I told myself that I had nothing to be nervous about. This was a straightforward business transaction. Nothing more. Nothing less. Serel was stationed outside the door, as Esmaris’s favored bodyguard, and I clung to the memory of the brief, encouraging smile he had given me as I walked into the room.

Still. My palms were drenched in sweat.

Say something,I willed Esmaris.

“One thousand.” As if he heard me. He still didn’t turn around. “That is significant.”

“Significantly more than the fifty silver pieces I offered you the first time,” I replied lightly, letting my smile seep into my voice but, to my relief, none of my anxiety.

“Indeed.” Esmaris turned at last, surveying me with sharp, dark eyes. That single unruly strand of peppered black hair hung on front of one eye. It was the only thing out of place in his appearance. Everything else, from the fit of his clothing to the edge of his cropped beard to the smoothness of his bound hair, was impeccable. He had to be nearing sixty by now, but he had the stance of a much younger man.

I reached a tendril into the unspoken words between us, feeling for his reaction, his thoughts. He was always difficult to read, stony and unyielding. Still, I could occasionally catch glimmers from him, especially when he was pleased with me.

Now, nothing.

“I actually have one thousand and two,” I added. “But I’m willing to give you the extra, since you’ve done so much for me.” Riding the line between a joke and the truth, flirtation and gratitude, stroking his ego and reminding him why he liked me.

No reaction. A hurt that I didn’t want to examine too closely flitted through me — a small, small part of me that, for whatever reason, had wanted him to be impressed.

“You have it?” He jerked his chin toward the bag I had brought with me, which rested near my feet. It was surprisingly heavy. It turned out one thousand gold coins was a lot of metal.

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

I did as he asked, bringing the bag to his desk and opening it. As soon as it touched the table, he yanked it upside down in one movement, dumping the coins over the desk. If I had closed my eyes, they might have sounded like bells. Some tumbled off the desk and onto the floor.

We stood in agonizing silence until those twinkling sounds finally quieted.

“Should I make you count them?” he said.

“I will if you wish. It’s all there.”

“This is a significant amount of money. How did you earn it?”

How did I earn it? What didn’t I do? I did whatever I had to. Whatever I could. “I made myself valuable wherever possible,” I said.

And look at what I did. Even the moments I weren’t proud of were worth it, for this. A pleased smile crept to the edges of my mouth.

“And what,” Esmaris hissed, “does that mean?”

My smile promptly disappeared.

Shit.

“I learned from you,” I said, smoothly, pacing forward. “Business is just a matter of—”

“You whored for this money.”

His revulsion — hisfury —split the air so violently that I felt like I had been slapped across the face. The ugliness of the word, the way he hurled it at me, left me momentarily speechless.

I had never even said it that way to myself. It hit harder than I thought it would.

“No, I—”

Only once. I pushed away the whisper, reminding myself that I had no regrets about what I had done.

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