Page 94 of Daughter of No Worlds

What was that even supposed to mean? I dragged myself here. Put myself through their demands. What had he done to help? Sent a flattering letter to Nura? Dragged back one injured slave who was useless to Ahzeen anyway?

But one look at Zeryth’s face forced me to cull my anger. Too far. I was going too far.

“I— I’m sorry. You are right.” I gave him a weak smile — gentle, girlish. “You’ve done so much for me. I don’t forget that.”

For a moment, he gave me a cold stare down his nose, and my heart clenched — terrified that in my inability to manage my anger, I had thrown away one of my greatest advantages.

Then his face softened, and I exhaled. He placed a strong hand on my shoulder.

“We got you out. That’s a start. Patience, Tisaanah.”

We? I got myself out. Serel got me out. And Vos paid for that with his something more valuable than his life.

It is not enough,I wanted to say.It is never enough.

But I looked up at Zeryth with big eyes. “Patience,” I echoed, and the word tasted like blood and treason on my tongue.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Ididn’t even trust myself to open my mouth after that, for fear of whatever would come tumbling out. I kept myself tightly bound, carefully wrapped, as I returned to Max in the tower lobby, as I nodded politely when Willa invited me to some ball or party or some other frivolity — I wasn’t paying attention — and as Max and I left those oppressive Towers into the crisp almost-autumn air.

Max tilted his chin towards the city, a cluster of activity just down the hill. “I’ve already broken my record of time spent in polite society for the last five years. We could keep up the streak and have that promised celebratory outing, if you want. Get a drink or three. Talk about all of the ways in which that test was bullshit.”

There was a certain veiled softness, a certain imploring question, to his tone that made it very clear that he knew something was wrong.

“No. Thank you.”

“Do you want to—”

“No.” I said it more sharply than intended. “I only want to go home. Please.”

I want to go home.

I didn’t even know which home I was talking about. Max’s house. My room in Esmaris’s estate. My little cabin in my village, beneath the wings of my mother’s safety. A Nyzrenese city I barely remembered. All of them. Or none.

I just didn’t want to be here, in the judging shadow of the Towers, when I fell apart.

“Of course,” Max murmured. I closed my eyes, heard the welcome crinkle of paper and ink, and opened them to flowers. The sight of those wild, twisting vines was just enough to make every strained knot inside of me snap at once.

My knees hit the dirt.

* * *

Max listenedin silence as the words spilled out of me. With each one, his mouth grew tighter, his eyes harder, the tight wrinkle at the bridge of his nose more pronounced.

“They are fucking with you,” he said quietly, when I was done. “Don’t accept that from them.”

I drew my knees up, wrapping my shaky fingers around them. Even now, all of my muscles were still tensed, as if holding back something unpleasant that I couldn’t allow to reach the surface.

Were they fucking with me? Or did they just not think of me — or anyone like me — at all?

“Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know. But that? What they did to you during that evaluation?” He shook his head. One sharp movement that burned more than a string of curses.

“They needed to test me,” I said, quietly. “And I did it.”

“It doesn't matter. That was so far beyond the bounds of a typical evaluation. You were better than they expected you to be, but that doesn’t change the fact that they stacked the deck against you.”

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