Page 215 of Mother of Death and Dawn

She stepped closer, taking my hand loosely in hers. “Perhaps you have never seen yourself as a king. But you have always been a leader, crown or no. The people you led during the war still remember and support you. That did not go away because of Nura’s lies.”

“What about the other lies, though? That admiration is built on things like Sarlazai and wild rumors about whatever I did during the war. None of that wasme.”

“Perhaps some of it. Just as it is for me. My people see a version of me that is bigger than reality, too.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re…”

Words evaded me. What I was thinking was,Better.

She gave me a bemused smile. “Did your name become a legend because of stories and exaggerations? Yes, perhaps partly, but there is no legend that is anything but. And they are not fighting for Maxantarius Farlione, the legend. The thing they actually fight for is respect—respect you earned, by standing beside them. It wasn’t the legend that did that. It was the man.”

She looked at me like she actually believed all of these things. Sometimes, that alone was almost enough to make me believe them, too. Almost.

“Does it even matter?” I said. “Do I deserve that trust?”

The corner of her mouth tightened. “I always ask myself that question.”

I almost laughed at that one. I understood why the rebels trusted Tisaanah. She had given them everything. She fought for them. She listened to them. She built them up. Of course they respected her. They would be fucking idiots not to.

The one upside, perhaps, to being a king would be the ability to make Tisaanah a queen.

“Here is what I think,” she said, quietly. “I think it is a risk. I think it might not work. But I also think—no,know—that you will be a good leader for Ara in a time of few good things. You don’t have to do it forever, just until this war is over. Until Nura is dealt with.”

I sighed and leaned my forehead against hers. I wanted to say,Absolutely fucking not. This is a terrible idea.

Instead I said, “Why do you do this to me?”

“What?”

“Make me do things. You’re always making medothings.”

She laughed. “As soon as the war is done, I will never make you do a single thing ever again.”

My chest clenched a little. It was rare that I ever heard Tisaanah talk about the future. Hearing her mention it, for some reason, made all of this seem a bit lighter.

Her enormous mismatched eyes looked up to meet mine. I was close enough to see every thread of color within them.

“Come with me,” I said. “If I do this, I need you.”

She chuckled. “You don’tneedme.”

Oh no, you don’t understand,I thought.I very, very much do.

But before I could say anything, her mouth pressed against mine in a long, deep kiss.

“Yes,” she said, against my lips, when we parted. “I’ll go with you.”

CHAPTEREIGHTY-SIX

TISAANAH

Icouldn’t say no. It scared me, exactly how much I couldn’t say no.

The truth was that until Max asked me to go to Ara with him, it never even occurred to me that I wouldn’t. I had fought so hard to have him back at my side. There was no way I was about to let him walk away from it—no way I would ever allow him to walk back into Ara, his traitorous home, alone.

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