Page 169 of Mother of Death and Dawn

“I didn’t want to.” We walked in silence that had become suddenly awkward. “When I was Reshaye, I did not understand it.”

“Understand—?”

“Sex. What does it feel like?”

Caduan made a strange, wordless sound, something between a laugh and a strangled clearing of the throat. “It feels… good.”

“Like it feels to taste honey?”

The corner of his mouth curled. “Perhaps in select scenarios.”

I had to admit, I was a bit intrigued by this. That was a very, very good feeling.

“If you’re curious about it,” he asked, very casually, “why did you reject Meajqa’s generous offer?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps I should not have.”

The first part was true. The second, less so.

But I took gruesome delight at Caduan’s reaction to this. Again he stopped short, turning to me, and for a split second, he looked… was it angry? More intense than I had ever seen him.

I enjoyed it when he looked at me like that.

He stepped closer once, and then again. My back pressed against the stone of the palace wall, cold against the bare expanse of my skin. And then he was leaning over me, the contrasting warmth overwhelming, the scent of pine surrounding me.

“You’re that curious?” he said. His voice was soft and hard at once. Full of promise.

It was an invitation.

I met his stare and said, “Yes.”

I was delirious with all the pleasures I had experienced tonight, but instead of feeling sated, I wanted more.

His hand pressed to the wall over my left shoulder, his head bowed close to mine.

“When it is right, it feels like ruination.” He spoke quietly, voice low and rough. His fingertips trailed down my waist, then my hip, and then slipped between the layered slit of my dress. I drew in a breath as he touched the tender skin of my upper thigh—hot and cold at once.

My blood felt so hot in my veins, and my heartbeat pounded, skin reddening with the rush.

“And?” I breathed.

His fingertips trailed further, landing between my thighs, sliding over the silk of my undergarments in a feather-light touch.

Such a small movement, but my gasp shook my whole body. A spark of pleasure shot up my spine. Everything in the world fell away but his eyes, and that single touch.

“Should I stop?” he asked, quietly.

“No.”

No, no. We had barely started. My hunger was now something uncontrollable. My thighs parted slightly, without me even meaning to, and Caduan’s forehead pressed against mine as he let out a slight breath.

His eyes were fire.

His fingers moved again, in small, gentle circles.

My world began to unravel. I released a sound I didn’t even realize that I had made—my knees went weak. I was nothing but mindless desire. Pleasure consumed me and yet it only started to fill the yearning inside me—I needed more.

“It feels like the stars,” Caduan murmured. “It feels like touching everything about another person’s body. Like devouring them and letting them do the same to you.”

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