Page 130 of Knight

Last chance to retreat. Last chance to go back to my monitors and feeds. Last chance to hide behind the walls that have kept me functioning all these years.

Last chance to prove Eva is right about me.

I take a deep breath, ignoring the way it irritates the wound in my side, and knock.

Her footsteps approach from the other side.

This is it. The moment I either face this thing between us or prove I really am just the coward she accused me of being.

My heart is throwing itself against my ribs. My vision swims in and out.

Fuck. Am I having a heart attack?

Maybe I should leave and do this another day.

The door opens.

Too late.

The shock on her face says she wasn’t expecting this. Wasn’t expecting me to actually show up instead of watching from a safe distance.

"Your locks are still terrible." My voice is rough. "We should probably fix that."

"If you came here to judge my building’s security—" The door starts to swing shut.

"I came because you’re right."

The door stops moving. I lick my lips, and force myself to continue.

"About everything. Me hiding. Using distance and humor as shields. About all of it."

She doesn’t invite me in, but she doesn’t shut the door in my face either. I’m not sure what’s worse—that or the way she’s standing there …watchingme with an intensity that makes me want to retreat to the safety of my apartment.

"Prove it." Her voice carries more challenge than welcome. "Prove you can handle something real without hiding or joking your way out of it."

"I don’t know how." The truth is hard to admit. "But I’m here. I’m not watching you through feeds or sending money from a safe distance."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because showing up at your door is literally the opposite of everything I’m comfortable with?" I shove my hands in my pockets to keep from fidgeting. "Trust me, every instinct I have is screaming to run back to my computers right now."

The silence builds between us, while I battle with the terrifying realization that some things are worth the risk.

"It’s not enough." She crosses her arms.

"I know." I meet her gaze. "But I’m trying, Eva. Which, given my spectacular track record with actual human interaction, is pretty much a miracle."

Her lips twitch like she’s fighting a smile. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. "You’re impossible."

"I prefer to think of it as challenging." I risk taking a small step closer. "Look, I’m terrible at this. Atallof it."

This is it.

It’s time to find out if I'm capable of being more than my defenses and barriers.

Time to discover if some risks are worth taking.

Time to see if what we built in those intense days is strong enough to survive my fear of actually feeling something.

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