Page 83 of Knight

"I'm the worst kind of monster. I used her love for someone else to manipulate her."

My hand hovers for a moment before settling between her shoulder blades, an awkward gesture of reassurance I'm not sure she’ll accept. She flinches, but doesn’t pull away.

"I found out what she was selling in her records." I keep my voice soft. "Small things, to help pay legal fees. But she hasn’t covered her tracks properly. A week or two, and she’d have been caught."

A sound between a laugh and a sob escapes her. "So now we destroy her completely?"

"No. Now we help her stop before she gets caught." I rub small circles against her back while she rinses her mouth again. "I’ve already moved money to cover her legal fees. It’ll give her a way out."

She finally looks at me in the mirror, eyes red and swollen. The stark vulnerability in her gaze is like a knife to my gut. "Why didn't we lead with that? Why did I have to ..."

"Because fear ensures cooperation. But hope keeps it." It’s a bitter truth that I learned to live with a long time ago. "She needed to understand both."

She turns, and presses her face against my chest. I freeze for a moment before my arms come around her. She's trembling so hard I can feel it in my bones.

"I used everything like you told me." The words are muffled against my shirt. "Every fear. Every worry about losing Sarah. I took it all and turned it into weapons."

I grab the clean hand towel hanging nearby and pass it to her. She wipes her face, then stares at the fabric like she's never seen it before.

"Sorry." She gestures vaguely at my shirt where her tears have soaked through.

"It's seen worse." The corner of my mouth twitches into something that’s almost a smile. I guide her to sit on the edge of the tub. "Take some deep breaths."

She does, shoulders still shaking with each inhale. I crouch in front of her, keeping one hand on her knee to ground her.

"You gave her a chance to save herself." I try to catch her gaze but she's staring at her hands. Her fingers are twisting together, a nervous sign I’m beginning to recognize. "To stop selling data before she gets caught. To keep fighting for her daughter."

"Stop making it sound noble." Her fingers twist tighter. "We're going to destroy her if she doesn't help us."

"Look at me." I wait until she does. "You're not a monster. Monsters don't feel this kind of guilt."

Her whole body seems to curl in on itself. "What am I then?"

"Someone trying to save her brother." I catch her hands in mine, stilling the frantic movement. "Someone who understands exactly what she's doing to Hardwick, and hates it, but does it anyway."

"Because you made me."

"Because it needs to be done." I squeeze her fingers. "But you're allowed to hate it. Allowed to feel like this."

Fresh tears spill down her cheeks. I reach for the towel again, but she shakes her head.

"I need ..." She swallows hard. "I need to see what we're giving her. What she gets if she helps us."

"You sure?"

She nods, then stands on shaky legs. I keep hold of one of her hands and lead her to my workstation. Her fingers are cold, but they grip mine like I'm the only thing keeping her grounded.

Or maybe I'm the devil dragging her deeper into hell.

I pull up Hardwick's records, showing her the money already being moved to cover legal fees. The evidence I've found. The balance of threat and salvation we're offering. Her grip on my hand tightens with each new detail, but she doesn't look away.

"She really has been selling data?" Her voice barely carries.

"Small things. Employee schedules. Maintenance records." I highlight the transfers. "Nothing critical yet, but she's getting desperate. One more bad decision and she loses everything. Her kid,andher freedom. This would get her sent to prison."

"So we're saving her by threatening her." The bitterness in her voice cuts deep. "Making her choose between helping us or destruction."

"We're giving her a way out before she destroys herself." I turn to face her. The truth won’t make her feel any better, but it’s all I can offer her. "The money stays if she helps us. The evidence vanishes. She can focus on fighting for Sarah instead of looking for quick cash."

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