Page 32 of Now and Again

‘Oh? Great,’ Amanda said. Dishes were passed, and people began to serve themselves.

‘Yeah. I didn’t have an en suite either. That shower, is that a rainfall?’ Juliet asked.

‘I think so, yes,’ Amanda said, pleased. ‘Though I wasn’t around when they were fitted.’ She turned to her husband. ‘Are they all rainfall showers, Mike?’

Mike, tucking into his meal, looked up, distracted. ‘I wouldn’t know, the designer did all that.’

‘I guess I’ll find out tomorrow morning,’ Juliet said cheerily.

A thick silence fell over the table. People were eating, which might have accounted for some of the quiet. But Riley could feel that some of it was just awkwardness. This wasn’t a family, no matter what Amanda wanted to think or see. They were just a collection of people connected by degrees of emotional and financial need.

That made Riley so fucking sad. Was there no such thing as family? Was it always like this? Could you never really find a connection?

THEN

Riley was waiting for her text to go through. She had read receipts on. Eventually, up it came. The message had been read. Now it was time to wait for a response, if there was to be one. Christ, the idea that her message would just be met with complete radio silence, that would be the worst.

And for over twenty-four hours, she believed that was as bad as it could get. All through Sunday and into Monday morning, all through the first lesson of the day, the silence killed her. Throughout business studies, she tried not to look at her phone. But her mind couldn’t be ripped from her wait, and occasionally, her hands followed suit, tapping in and checking she hadn’t missed a message.

India saw her. ‘What’s up with you?’ she asked. ‘Jack isn’t bothering you, is he?’

‘Mmm? Oh, Christ no. That’s extremely over,’ Riley told her. She’d almost forgotten about the whole Jack melodrama. It seemed like a thousand years ago now. Someone else was making her miserable now. It was so much worse than the social embarrassment Jack had heaped on her.

‘Is there someone new?’ India asked slyly.

Riley sighed through her nose. ‘No,’ she said. It didn’t feel like a lie. ‘Look, I’m not coming to lit, OK? I just can’t be arsed with it today,’ she told India.

India was astounded. ‘But you never miss a lesson!’

‘If Griffin asks, tell her I’m sick or something.’

‘If you wanna go into town or something, have a look round the shops, I’d be up for that,’ India grinned, not reading the vibe at all.

‘No, I’m just… I’m just going home. I didn’t sleep well last night.’

India stopped grinning. ‘Oh, alright.’

The bell went, and Riley sped off, barely saying bye to India. She walked home at a pace and went straight to her room, got into bed fully clothed, and pulled the covers over her head.

She hadn’t been there five minutes when there was a knock at her door.

‘Come in,’ Riley called from beneath the sheet, not meaning it.

Someone who could only be her mother came in and sat down on the edge of the bed without a word. After a few seconds, Riley pulled the sheet from over her head. Her mother was staring at the carpet anxiously. Riley watched her, her stomach starting to hurt. She knew what it was going to be just before her mother said it. ‘Your dad and I… We’re getting a, a divorce,’ her mother told her, barely able to meet her eyes.

‘Where is he? Why isn’t he here to tell me this?’ Riley asked.

‘He’s got a meeting. He’ll be back later,’ her mother told her.

Riley wasn’t especially surprised her dad couldn’t make it to the announcement that the family was being dissolved. Seemed on par.

‘Who’s moving out?’

‘He is,’ her mother said.

Riley pulled the sheet down a bit further and said, ‘Good.’

‘That’s… that’s your reaction?’ her mother asked nervously.

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