Page 38 of Now and Again

‘Mm,’ Riley muttered, going to the sink and pouring out the rest of her drink. She turned with a smile that seemed forced. ‘Well, night. Thanks for the spider disposal.’ She walked out.

Juliet was left feeling confused, hurt.What just happened?One minute they were laughing, talking, getting close. The next, Riley was gone, in all senses. Juliet felt like she’d done something wrong. She had no idea what it was. But Riley had shut down with such speed, something had changed.

Sixteen

Riley felt stupid.

She shouldn’t have done any of that. Dragged Juliet out of bed and into a midnight adventure, culminating in booze and the exchange of secrets. Because, before she knew what she was doing, she was letting Juliet in. She’d always been like that. Drawing you out into plain sight, making you want to let her know you. Riley had found herself flirting with the one person on planet Earth she knew didn’t think very much of her. Because, as they’d agreed, they hadn’t changed. They were still the people they’d been. And Juliet had gotten a good look at Riley and found her distinctly wanting once. It wasn’t different now. There was no reason it should be. If anything, it was worse. Because the difference in who they were was even starker. They were on Riley’s alleged turf. The little rich girl who came home to daddy when real life got too hard. Riley had tried not to see it that way, but she wondered if Juliet did. Maybe it was just true.

Why was Riley going to kiss her, then? Why had she kissed her ten years ago? Mysteries, mysteries. She couldn’t keep trying to solve one like Juliet.

Riley was reminded of the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Thank god her dad could be relied upon to be his normal, arsehole self. She wondered how many times he’d unknowingly busted up a good time in his life. This was the one time that Riley was grateful for it. He’d reminded her who she was, where she was, the way things were.

***

After nearly no sleep, Riley was on the train the next day in a mild stupor. She was staring at her phone mindlessly when a text came through from India, wanting to hang out. Though India wasn’t the most scintillating company, she was a distraction, and Riley quickly accepted. She needed to cut back on scintillating company anyway.

***

‘So, yeah, he said he wanted to move in. I said no.’

‘Oh?’ Riley said, sipping her coffee. She felt like she’d been listening to this story, or some form of it, for many years. She just had to make the right noises in the right places.

‘Yeah. I was thinking of ending it anyway. I liked him at first.’ Disdain dripped from India’s voice. ‘But then I noticed how much he talked about his mum.’

‘His mum?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Is that bad?’

‘It is if it’s ten seconds after you finish fucking.’

‘What? What did he say?’ Riley asked, engaged now. This had been a good idea, after all. She wasn’t thinking about Juliet whatsoever.

‘He said he was worried that she shouldn’t be marrying some guy she met a few months ago. I mean, that’s not normal, is it? Talking about your mother’s love life,justafter sex. There’s no way he wasn’t thinking about itduring, is there? It’s like that book, or… What was it where the guy wants to shag his dad and kill his mum?’

‘It’s the other way around, and it’s a play calledOedipus.’

‘Anyway. I don’t wanna compete with his mum in the bedroom. It’s sick.’

Riley was forced to play devil’s advocate. ‘You’resurethat’s what was happening? Is it possible that he was just relaxed and then it popped into his head? I mean, did you ask him about it?’

‘Nope. I’ve decided. It’s too sick. I’m out,’ India declared casually. ‘Anyway, I’ve got a date with a total ten tonight. He’s six-one and has four horses. It’s meant to be.’

‘My god, when did you break up with Brandon?’ Riley asked, slightly shocked at how quickly India could shake it off and move on.

‘Brandon? That was weeks ago. The guy with the mummy thing was Justin,’ India said.

‘I really and truly cannot keep up,’ Riley had to say.

‘It’s just how dating is,’ India said with slight defensiveness. ‘You have to kiss a few frogs.’

Riley thought India had probably kissed a fair few frogs in her time and bolted before they had half a chance to transform into princes. Which was fine, as long as you weren’t lying to yourself or other people about what you wanted out of the deal.

‘What about you, anyway?’ India asked. ‘You haven’t said anything since you and… I want to say Noel?’

‘Noah.’ Riley was shocked shitless that India couldn’t even recall his actual name. She’d never wanted to meet him, seemed to actively avoid it. Even though Riley had spent numerous evenings in the presence of India’s flavours of the month, India never met the longest-serving partner Riley had ever had. ‘And there’s been nobody since,’ Riley said. Not the whole truth, but close enough. One near kiss didn’t count.

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