Page 24 of Now and Again

‘Don’t read anything into him calling you dude. Everyone’s his dude. I heard him call his mum dude once,’ said a girl at the edge of the pool, grabbing hold of Juliet’s hand and trying to drag her out.

But when Juliet rose out of the pool, something happened. Something from a nightmare. Her sister’s top, which hadn’t been a perfect fit to start with, was ripped down by the water. Worse than that, Juliet’s bra, which was strapless and therefore had nothing holding it up beyond her actual boobs – which, unlike her sister’s, would come many to the pound - flew down with it. Juliet was briefly topless in front of around forty people. She jumped back down below the line of the water to get her wardrobe functioning correctly. She squeezed her eyes shut as she pulled the clothes back in place and prayed that no one would comment, a prayer of the most desperate kind.

It did nothing. Paul, next to her, let out this big guffaw and then mumbled something drunkenly and released from the shock of the sudden nudity, the group heartily laughed at whatever mean joke he’d made. Juliet couldn’t bear to look at him, the heartless bastard.

Before long, the laughter had spread like a contagion, being passed to people who were still coming out of the house, no doubt quickly informed of history’s worst faux pas.

It got worse as Juliet watched Riley run around the pool. Juliet heard her laughing too. It was only briefly, but Juliet knew it was at her. It was like a slap around the face. She thought Riley cared about her. Now Juliet was just a joke to her?

By the time Riley had reached her, she was pretending she wasn’t laughing at Juliet’s humiliation. ‘Oh my god! Are you alright?’

Juliet looked up, utterly mortified, though, now dressed. Everyone was laughing their arses off. This was the most shame Juliet had ever felt in her life. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t her fault. ‘Yeah, I’m OK.’ Riley held a hand out, and Juliet pretended not to see it, climbing awkwardly out of the pool by herself. Once she was poolside, she stood and checked her watch. It didn’t work anymore. ‘Is that the time? I’d better get home.’

Riley looked surprised. ‘Oh, er, OK.’ Juliet supposed she thought someone like her would put up with being laughed at and shamed. It was shocking, this turn in Riley. One minute, Riley had seemed like a good person, a decent person. Juliet felt seen, cared for. But then Riley laughed at her, and Juliet knew she’d been a fool. Riley was only amusing herself with Juliet, and now this was simply more amusement at Juliet’s expense.

Juliet turned away and headed for the back gate, dripping as she walked. As she let herself out of the garden, she wondered if she could run her clothes around the dryer without waking anyone. If her sister saw these clothes, she was going to hit the roof.

By the time she got in, she’d stopped dripping. She headed for the bathroom, where she made the mistake of looking into the mirror. All the makeup that her sister had applied had melted down her face, and now she looked like she could front an eighties heavy metal band. No wonder Riley had laughed at her.

Juliet didn’t know if she was angrier at Riley or herself. Because Juliet half believed that going into that pool had been her own fault. One step to the side and the whole thing could have been avoided. The kiss wouldn’t have been ruined. Then again, hadn’t it already been ruined before Juliet embarrassed herself?

It had. Because Riley hadn’t meant it.

NOW

Juliet could still feel that decade-old embarrassment. It had burned beyond any mortification she’d ever felt.She’d thought she might die of it. She’d half wanted to. Though, of course, that wasn’t the end of the story…

But it was better not to get into that because she was letting it all go.Turning all those memories over in her mind, rolling them around like they were on a mixed fabrics cycle in the washing machine, it was no good.She couldn’t clean it. There was no such thing as Tide for unwanted emotions. Even if you ran your mind through a boil wash, it couldn’t get out stubborn crushes either. Juliet simply had to decide to get over it. And then wait until her stupid brain caught up. In the meantime, she would be super cool, distant, removed. Riley would never find out about this.

‘Mum?’ Juliet called as she let herself into the house. ‘Are you in?’

Her mother popped her head out of the kitchen. ‘Oh, good. I need a hand with something.’ The head vanished.

‘What?’ Juliet said, going to find her mother in the kitchen.’

‘The man’s coming tomorrow, so I need to clear out your sister’s room,’ she said, dragging flattened boxes out of a cupboard. ‘Her old clothes, for a start. God knows how many boxes they’ll fill. That’s what happens when a fashion addict goes to work in a clothes shop. She brings half the bloody stock home with her. I swear, by the end of the week,every week, she had about five quid of her pay left—’

‘Why do we need to clean out Becca’s room?’ Juliet interrupted.

Her mother raised an eyebrow as she began to assemble the first box. ‘For the man to take the snaps.’

‘Man? Snaps?’

‘Of course. They can’t sell the house without photos, can they?’

It should not have been hard to understand what her mother was saying. Only, there’d been no lead-up. Not once had her mother mentioned that she was selling the house.

‘Mum, we’re selling?!’

‘Yes, I said, didn’t I?’ her mother replied, assembling the second box.

‘I think not, Mum.’

‘Idid,’ her mother stated dismissively.

‘I reckon I’d remember my childhood home being sold out from under me,’ Juliet snapped.

‘Watch your tone,’ her mother said.

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