Page 47 of You Spin Me Round

Leigh tried to summon some bullshit, but it simply wouldn’t come. She slumped in her chair. This was stupid. She couldn’t do this. Alex wasn’t an idiot. She could smell every attempt to trick her into revealing juicy morsels of information coming a mile away.

Leigh knew now this was not going to be the way she did things. It simply wasn’t her. She wasn’t sly. Even so, she couldn’t quite bring herself to admit she had no real reason to drag Alex to lunch.

Leigh looked down at her lobster. ‘You know what? I regret ordering this,’ she explained honestly. ‘The amount of work you have to do for what you get? I just don’t think it’s worth it.’

Alex accepted the subject change with surprising amiableness. ‘I’d swap, but it might kill me.’

Leigh was horrified. ‘You’ve got a seafood allergy? Why didn’t you say anything? You shouldn’t even be at the same table as this thing!’

Alex shrugged. ‘No, it’s OK. It’s not an airborne thing for me. I can be near it.’

Leigh was relieved. But she needed to get the thing dealt with, just on the off chance. She set to work, snapping, breaking, sucking, getting the thing eaten in haste.

After several minutes of going hard at the lobster, she happened to glance up. Alex was wide-eyed. Leigh realised how disgusting she was being.

‘I just wanted to get it gone,’ she explained. ‘It’s a health and safety issue.’

Alex burst out laughing. ‘That was magnificent. It was like something from a nature programme.’

Leigh couldn’t help but laugh with her.

Alex looked down at her steak. ‘If we’re going feral, this steak may be a bit much, too. My belt is straining. You mind if I undo?’

Leigh smiled, pleased. ‘Go for it.’

Alex reached down and released herself with a noisy sound of relief. ‘ThankChrist.’

Leigh noticed an elderly couple shooting them looks. She couldn’t blame them. She and Alex looked like a couple of utter degenerates. It took Leigh to that night ten years ago. When everyone was a mess, and not very good at hiding it, either.

Ten Years Ago

Leigh didn’t want to tell this story. But she knew it might be worse if she drank instead of talking, particularly when no one else was being tight-lipped about their transgressions. They could imagineanythingif she didn’t speak. Like she’d murder some neighbourhood pets or something.

She took a deep breath and let out her most private shame. ‘OK, here it is, then. Two years ago, I tried to make my mum think my dad was having an affair.’

The room went silent for a moment. Leigh could feel the sheer disgust. It was fair enough. It was disgusting.

‘How did you do it?’ Alex eventually asked, breaking the weighty silence.

‘I bought a thong and put it in the glove compartment of their car,’ Leigh explained.

‘What happened?’ Alex asked.

‘Time went by, and nobody found it. So when it was just me and my mum, I pretended to find it myself, and I showed it to her.’

‘How did she react?’ one of the girls asked, darkly fascinated.

Leigh paused. This was the worst part of the story. ‘She saw them, and she pretended they were hers.’

‘Maybe she really thought theywere?’ Alex suggested.

‘My mother made it very clear on several occasions that she hated thongs. “One-way ticket to a yeast infection,” she calls them. That’s the reason I chose it in the first place.’

‘So she thought you’d found evidence of infidelity, and then she tried to protectyoufrom it?’ Alex said, more of a statement than a question.

Leigh looked at her and opened her mouth. Nothing came out.

‘Jesus, Leigh. That’s dark, dude,’ Jacob said quietly. No one else was saying anything.

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