Page 54 of You Spin Me Round

Alex turned to the sound of her name, and they locked eyes. And in that moment, Leigh knew she was stupid. Because Alex looked unhappy—frightened even—the moment she realised Leigh had tracked her down.

Leigh didn’t say anything else. She simply turned and walked away. She knew. She didn’t need to have a humiliating conversation to confirm anything.

She went home and lay down on her bed and cried and cried.

NOW

Leigh looked at Alex across the table, the woman she’d never expected to see again. ‘Itmattered, Alex,’ she repeated.

‘But, err, you stayed on the degree? Because I was a bit worried about that,’ Alex replied.

Leigh laughed. ‘What? You wereworried?!’

‘I mean…’ Alex seemed to be on the verge of saying more, but then she looked back down at her new best friend, the saltshaker. ‘A bit.’

Leigh snorted bitterly. ‘Yeah, I stayed. Because I didn’t have another plan.’

‘But it worked out, I guess,’ Alex said, still not looking at her.

‘In time, I settled into it,’ Leigh told her.

It had been a close-run thing, though. The Alex thing had nearly sent her over the edge. And then, somehow, she’d started to feel angry at Alex. Leigh decided that she didn’t deserve the power to ruin her life. So she stayed, figuring she needed to prove to herself that she could see things through despite her pain. Because that was what life was, wasn’t it? A slog through shit.

With time, Leigh had learnt to trust again, somewhat. She’d even found love a few times, though it hadn’t lasted. But no one else had ever made her feel like love could change everything. It was the cruellest thing anyone had ever done to her. Offering hope.

‘I’m glad you figured it out,’ Alex said.

‘I don’t care if you’re glad,’ Leigh replied.

Alex looked at her and looked away again. ‘I’m sorry, OK? I’msorry.’

‘I don’t accept your apology,’ Leigh said, starting to enjoy herself.

Alex deserved this. There had never been a single consequence for her until now. And she deserved to hurt a bit. She deserved to be uncomfortable. She deserved to know she was dogshit.

‘I guess that’s fair enough,’ Alex said.

The waiter came to see if anyone wanted dessert. ‘I’m good. I think we’ll just take the bill,’ Alex replied hastily.

The waiter nodded and left.

‘I assume that’s OK with you? I’m sure we’ve both got things to get on with?’ Alex checked.

Leigh nodded, ready to release Alex from this lunch of recriminations. There was nothing more to be gained. ‘Of course.’

The waiter came and placed the bill down, leaving them to deal with it. Alex grabbed it.

‘What are you doing?’ Leigh asked.

‘I think I should pay. For wasting your time today.’

‘I wasted my own time,’ Leigh said. ‘Give me the bill.’

‘No,’ Alex said, placing a credit card in the folder. ‘I’ve got it.’

‘If you think this makes up for anything at all…’ Leigh said.

For the first time in a few minutes, Alex looked her square in the eye. ‘Iknowthat.’ She licked her lips nervously. ‘If it’s any consolation, you had a near miss, anyway.’

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