Page 40 of Precise Justice

Priscilla had driven onto their driveway by now. She put the car in park, turned to Robbie and said, “I have no doubt you’ll be in a much better place. What you have done has already helped you be your true self.”

Without a word, Robbie opened his door and got out of the car.

“I’m seeing some friends. I’ll be home later,” Priscilla said.

“Hello, all,” Priscilla joyously said to her clique of gossipy friends.

They had a table at their usual weekly place. Priscilla was the last one to arrive. The only remaining chair was next to Sophia Doyle, across from Priscilla’s plaything, Rebecca Forrest.

“I am so excited,” Priscilla announced. “Friedman had the talk with Robbie about the surgery today.”

“How thrilling,” Sophia said.

“And?” Ella Gibson asked.

“Well, she’s thinking it over, but I’m confident. It’s so exciting. I’m going to have a daughter without the pregnancy and all of that horror. We’ll be the best of friends. I can hardly wait.”

“What does Blake have to say about this? You’ve never said,” Barbara Bivens asked.

“Who?” Priscilla asked after a solid swallow of the plain vodka martini Rebecca ordered for her.

“Your husband,” Barbara said. “Remember him? Robbie’s father”

“Oh, sure. I didn’t ask,” Priscilla said.

“Well, congratulations,” Mia Pinter said holding up her glass. “Here’s to daughters, even manufactured ones.”

SIXTEEN

Dear Diary:May 22nd

The school year ends next week, Friday May 31. I am scared to death about it. Tomorrow, I have a session with Mother Dear attending, with Dr. Frankenstein. Of course, Blake is not invited. At least with Mother Dear in the room, Dr. Frankenstein won’t put his hands on me.

We have been gradually talking about the surgery. Tomorrow, Dr. Frankenstein will go over the surgery again. I am NOT! looking forward to this.

As I have told you many times before, Dear Diary, I finally worked up the courage to tell mother I do NOT! want to go through with this. She won’t listen. She tells me that it is just normal nervousness. I try to tell her it is not.

I have met a girl in school. Her name is Olivia. She is Iranian and quitepretty. I have a huge (maybe my first) crush on her. Of course, I don’t think she even knows I’m alive. These feelings I have for her, and other girls I find attractive, are a sign. I want to stay being a boy. I’m still on the runaway train and can’t stop it.

I have even told Frankenstein. He dismisses it as nerves; Joan, my former mentor warned me that I would feel like this and that I would not want to go through with it. So did my friend at school, Erin. She was honest and told me it was difficult, but worth it. Erin is also attracted to girls. And boys. She thinks she might be bisexual. It’s all so very confusing and scary. I don’t know what to do.

I probably should not write this down, but I think I have to. I have been thinking about suicide. In fact, quite a lot lately, to simply put an end to this. I have even been thinking about ways to do it. Everything I come up with scares me too much.

Good night, Dear Diary. Time for bed.

“Good afternoon,” Dr. Friedman said to both Robbie and Priscilla. “Please, have a seat. Robbie, how are you? Are you still nervous?”

On the drive to their appointment, Priscilla made it clear Robbie was to cooperate. He was to set aside his fears, doubts andconcerns. He was to accept the fact that his mother, Dr. Friedman and the other professionals know what was best for him.

Despite his inner qualms, Robbie had been beaten down by these people. Besides, who knew for sure? Maybe his mother was right. They all said they could see things that Robbie could not. The runaway train was about to come into the station.

When Friedman asked Robbie if he was still nervous, Priscilla turned to look at him. Without Friedman noticing, Priscilla’s eyes narrowed into little more than slits sending Robbie a message;Cool it.

“Yeah, sure, some, but I’m okay,” Robbie answered.

“Good, well, let’s get started,” Friedman said.

“This surgery, as you know, as we’ve discussed, is a multistage procedure usually done at the same time during the same surgery. The surgeon will first perform a penectomy to remove the penis. At the same time, he’ll perform an orchiectomy to remove the testes.

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